Rescued
by spirit-creature
Summary: The chains that bind us will only tear us apart. Light and L get more than they bargained for when their true feelings come to the forefront, causing an explosive chain of events that can only end badly. Light/L Co-written with Interstella.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note:

This is sort of my first fanfic that I've decided to throw out into the attention of the general public. It's a joint work where the sections focused on Light Yagami are played by me, and the sections focused on L are played by my friend Interstella (check out her work!).

I appreciate all criticism and I hope it's received well!

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Light Yagami sat in a bright marble-walled bathroom. With his back to the sink, he sank down to the floor in silent relief, massaging the chafed skin on his wrist. Using the bathroom was one of the few occasions when he could be unchained from Ryuuzaki, which was why he had used the false excuse now. Sometimes he just couldn't stand it any longer; being in such close proximity to that weirdo really got on his nerves. The way Ryuuzaki sat, the way he ate, everything about him, just made Light sick to his stomach. Light's hand rose to cover his mouth involuntarily at the thought. _If I see that guy eat one more damn piece of cake, I swear I'll be sick._ It was true; Light hated many things about Ryuuzaki. Especially those strange looks he often caught. Sometimes Light would look over at the man chained to him and find that Ryuuzaki had been staring at him with an interested look in his dark eyes. Perhaps he was only thinking about Light being Kira. _Yes, that must be it. Damn Ryuuzaki, he's never going to let that go._ Light thought it especially odd however, when he would catch Ryuuzaki in one of these instances, Ryuuzaki face would flush and turn away from him. _God, what is his problem? And why am I even thinking about it so much? _ Light stood up and turned around to look into the wide mirror before him. He turned on the water and splashed its coolness onto his face. Drying his face, he glanced at the bathroom door. _It's been a while, hasn't it? _ He knew Ryuuzaki was standing, or most likely, crouching in that bizarre way of his right outside the door. He'd probably get suspicious if Light lingered in the bathroom much longer. Light ran a hand through his hair and sighed. _It's not like I have anything to hide._

As soon as Light left the rest room, L clapped the chain on his wrist, looking at him with a knowing expression. L knew about the way Light felt when he went into the bathroom. He had half a mind to go in with Light, but he didn't want the temptation. His own desires must remain hidden behind a mask of motionlessness. If L was to go with Light, he'd want to do more than just watch Light. He'd want to touch to –

L forced the thoughts from his mind as he gestured for Light to follow him out into their work area.

It was bad enough at night.

L hadn't really thought this through when he'd chained himself to Light. For once, he'd missed a few points.

Point one: Bed. They had to share. Should they try and get two, no matter how close they were, the chain would prevent sleeping (on Light's part). Then, the fact that Light was in the same bed as him, kept L awake all night. Really, it wouldn't do to go to sleep and end up doing something he'd regret, or go to sleep and dream something with potentially embarrassing results.

Point two: Bathroom breaks. It took L a short while to figure out that he'd have to unchain Light when he went to the bathroom. He wouldn't be able to go in with him to use the facilities. But what about showering? Light could turn the shower on and use that as an excuse to cover up whatever it was he was doing. So L decided that he'd just have to shower with Light.

Light was going to love that idea.

L sighed as he sat back on his seat, absently picking up a fork and playing with the fresh slice of cake in front of him. He took a chunk and shoved it in his mouth, not even noticing the action, he was too deep in thought.

Unfortunately, his thoughts had turned to what Light would look like in the shower. Thankfully, L had previously mastered the ability to change his train of thoughts. But he was still getting distracted far too much.

Light must be Kira. That was why he was distracting L so much. He was doing it on purpose so that he wouldn't catch him.

L ate some more cake.

Light tried to concentrate on the computer screen in front of him. He knew he was researching trends in the recent rise in the Yotsuba Company's profit and the deaths from heart attacks occurring in the last two weeks. He knew this, and yet all he could discern on his screen was a jumble of names and numbers; it was all a blur to him. The constant clatter of fork against plate rang like an explosion in his ears. Why was he finding it so hard to concentrate?

He turned his head slightly to look at the hunched over genius. Ryuuzaki was eating cake, of course. Light forced his stomach to settle. This, of course, was the reason Light could not concentrate. He didn't know why, but working with this man was one of the hardest things Light ever had to do. Maybe it was because Ryuuzaki was so quick-witted, always thinking one step ahead of Light. And Light _hated _to lose. He paused and thought on this for a moment. He and the detective were very much alike. He'd never met anyone with the same intellect as himself. _Under different circumstances, _he thought, _perhaps we would have…._

Light chuckled slightly and shook the thought from his head. _Why do I even care? The two of us are simply working together to find Kira. After that, I won't ever have to see him again._ Light looked up at Ryuuzaki again, who was still eating the same slice of cake. Light noticed the smear of frosting on Ryuuzaki's chin and frowned. The man was usually so clean. Light took a napkin and sauntered over to the detective.

"Hey, you missed some," he remarked, finding it hard to hide the smile already forming on the corners of his lips. Light held out the napkin.

Blinking a few times, completely taken by surprise, L took the napkin and cleaned his face. He then turned to Light and nodded. "Thank you." He wanted to ask how Light noticed. Had he been watching him? But he didn't want Light to get the wrong (right) idea.

Besides, if he asked about that sort of thing, it was 70% more likely that Light would notice L's staring later.

Turning back to his cake, L noticed that there was still half of it left on the plate. Not really wanting to eat it, he moved it around on the plate a little. With a sigh, he turned to look at Light. "Would you care for some cake?" Wasted cake is a sin.

The detective's black eyes bore into him. Being near Ryuuzaki for too long gave Light the chills. He turned away and shivered slightly. Quickly recovering, he replied, "No thanks. I don't have much of a stomach for sweets, quite the opposite of you, in fact."

Light shifted his weight. He found it extremely awkward standing next to Ryuuzaki's chair making small talk. He stared off to the side and felt his face start to redden. Frantically grabbing at the first piece of coherent thought he could find, Light added, "I can't believe you aren't going to finish it. Perhaps you should take this opportunity to break the habit. It can't be good for your health." Light groaned inwardly. _What the hell am I saying?_

L just looked at Light. _Is he concerned for my health, or just acting like it to avoid suspicion? _He pulled the cake back and started eating it again, as if to defy Light. He did so, staring at the other, daring him to say something about it.

After a moment, he grimaced and put the plate down. His stomach was starting to rebel. With a sigh, he put the fork on it the plate and turned back to his work. After a moment, he looked up at Light with an invisible eyebrow raised. "Is there any particular reason you're standing there rather than working?" He asked, his monotonic voice inquiring.

For once, Light could not come back with a retort. His mouth opened and closed. With a hurt pride, he sulked back to his chair.

For the next hour, Light actually did some work. He had almost forgotten entirely about the man chained to him when a shadow suddenly fell over his work area.

"I require the use of the bathroom." L said, looking at Light. He pulled on the chain. He had spent ten minutes trying to figure out what to do about this. "You have a choice. You may either accompany me, or be chained to this desk." He didn't think he could stand Light being in the bathroom with him, but he knew the other probably wouldn't appreciate being chained to a desk.

He stood there, hunched over and waiting for Light to make his decision.


	2. Chapter 2

Authors Note:

(Light) Most of this story has been completed already, but I'd like to see how well it is received before I upload anymore. Hope you're all enjoying it!

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Light sighed and looked at his watch. It was getting late. "I might as well go with you." He stood up, backing away slightly from L. "I'm beginning to get a headache and I could use some rest. We don't need to do any more work today." Light tried to smile, but it probably looked like a grimace.

He flipped a switch, turning off all the monitors and equipment (aside from the surveillance cameras, which would be recording all night), and followed L to the staircase.

L nodded and guided the two to the closest bathroom. Once in there, he moved into the room and rushed to the urinal. He unzipped and relieved himself. He'd been needing the bathroom for a while now. Sighing in relief, he shook twice and zipped back up. He then moved to the sink and cleaned his hands. He then turned to Light and gestured out of the room. "It's only midnight, but if you require it, we can rest for the night."

He started leading them to their room. They were going to have to share.

Light had been sleeping in the same bed with L for the last two nights, since the two had been chained together. Out of those two nights, Light guessed, he'd gotten a mere five hours of rest. Even then, they were not peaceful slumbers. Light knew how uncomfortable it was for the other man, but surely Ryuuzaki had never slept much to begin with. Light was the one who truly required sleep. He had argued this with the detective on their first night together, but to no avail. L _still _believed him to be Kira, and would not let him out of his sights.

Light's head pounded a warning at him. He knew it was a sign that he needed sleep, and there was not much of a chance he'd get much rest lying next to that insomniac. Light felt an argument brewing inside him as they stepped into the room and closed the door.

L moved to the dresser, pulling out some fresh boxers. He quickly changed, as per usual, with his back turned to Light. He then waited patiently for Light to change.

When they both were ready, he moved to the bed and sat down, in his normal position. It was quite hard to do so on a bed, but he'd soon managed it. He watched Light, waiting for him to climb in the bed before he turned the light off.

"As we are retiring early, I believe it would be prudent to arise early in the morning. We can get an earlier start to the day." And find Kira so we can part ways. L was finding it more and more difficult to ignore the lust that was seeping into his bones. If he had to spend much longer with Light, he was going to 'spaz' out, for lack of a better word. He was a little afraid that one day, his urges will become too much to bury – one day, he was going to jump Light.

And it was going to be one day soon.

Light remained standing, staring down coldly at L. "Ryuuzaki, I can't sleep next to you." If he didn't say something now, he'd never sleep again.

L looked at Light, a little confused, "Is there any reason as to why you cannot?" He asked. "It will be rather difficult to sleep elsewhere." He rattled the chain slightly before offering a sly smile. "Are you worried I may do something to endanger your innocence?"

He didn't know why he'd said that. It was a bad thing to say. He schooled his expression into his normal one. He shook his head and gestured to the bed. "You wanted to sleep, then sleep."

Light's cheeks colored slightly and he retorted, "But I _can't _fall asleep with you next to me." His lack of sleep was beginning to make him cranky. Desperately, he searched for a compromise. "I'd rather be handcuffed to the bed itself than to you, if it meant I could get a full night's rest. Surely that would be enough to ease your suspicions. Ryuuzaki, if you're still so suspecting of me even after all that has happened, you may as well lock me up like before. But at least allow me the luxury of my own bed!"

Light suddenly felt more tired than before, and he knew the arguing was getting him nowhere. He could tell by the look in L's eyes.

L sighed and closed his eyes for a second before opening them and looking at Light again. "Would it help you if I were to sleep too?" He asked, moving so that he could lay on his back. "If I didn't sit and watch you all night, perhaps you would be more comfortable."

Why did he say that? It was true- but that didn't mean he had to say it. He didn't want Light to put two and two together, to figure out his latent feelings or attraction for the other.

Still, L lay down, watching Light, waiting for his response. "Maybe you would be able to sleep if I sleep with you."

Okay...he did _not_ just say that... He blushed slightly, and hoped that the flush was hidden in the half light.

Light's mouth opened slightly and then it dawned on him. But instead of anger, he only felt a little amused. "Ryuuzaki, do you have a crush on me?" He smirked slightly.

Flushing darkly, L turned his head away. "I do not." He said stubbornly. He folded his arms and sat up, back into his normal position. "I was merely trying to make a friend more comfortable. Though I think about it now, I apologize for making it seem like a come-on." He kept his beet red face pointed away from Light, his arms still crossed around his legs.

Grinning, Light hopped onto the bed. "You may be a genius, but you've never been particularly good at telling lies. That's where your lack of social skills fails you. You should really get out more often, Ryuuzaki." He looked over at L, who was still turned away from him. "Hey, don't worry. I'm not upset or anything. To tell you the truth, I'm kind of relieved. I thought it was something else."

Miraculously, Light felt his headache fading. He yawned widely and leaned back against the headboard. Now that he knew the truth, he felt much more relaxed sleeping with the man. He knew L wouldn't try anything while he was sleeping. He was definitely too shy for that, too socially inept. He could now sleep peacefully. Besides, he needed the extra rest for what he had planned for tomorrow.

L was still 'sulking' when he turned back to Light. "I lie well enough." He mumbled, glaring at Light slightly. There was no malice in the glare, just annoyance. "And what were you thinking?" He asked, following Light's example and leaning against the headboard. His legs still remained curled under him, sitting in his normal way.

He was watching Light now, his face still flushed. But he was ignoring that. He hoped that Light would follow his example.

"What was I thinking? Well, honestly, I can't sleep under that gaze of yours. Knowing that you'd be right beside me, watching every twitch my body made in its sleep, it really creeped me out. I've said this before: I don't like being suspected of being Kira. And with you chained to me, I'm under constant surveillance, even in my sleep." Light sighed. "I know I agreed to all this, but that doesn't mean I'm going to like it."

He side-glanced at L and grinned seductively at the man's beat-red face. Light was going to enjoy teasing him. "But since you're only watching me out of personal interest, somehow it's less unsettling."

L's face flushed darker and he scowled. He didn't say anything however, merely lay down with a huff and turned his back to Light. After a moment, he spoke, "If that's what you think, then continue to think it- if it lets you sleep. But don't for once, believe that it's true." He said. His arms were still crossed. He was feeling quite uncomfortable now.

Light frowned and turned towards the other. "Does it really upset you so much, Ryuuzaki? If so, then I'm sorry." Perhaps he had gone too far. "I won't bring it up anymore."

Light turned over to lie on his back and suddenly felt odd. His feelings towards L had changed significantly in the last 24 hours. While earlier he resented just about everything the detective did, now he felt...well, he certainly didn't _hate_ the man as he had before. Light was not Kira, and having the world's greatest detective believe the contrary was not something he enjoyed. But this indirect confession of L's feelings for him, it must mean that he was less suspecting of Light. He yawned again and shut his eyes.

L sighed and rolled over, facing Light, but not looking at him. "Just go to sleep." He said tiredly. He sighed a little and looked at Light before closing his eyes. He was still awake, but he was trying to force himself to sleep.

When he was asleep, he didn't have to worry about being so close to Light, to be worried about his feelings for him. He just had to concentrate on sleeping.

It took a while, but by ignoring everything around him, and forcing himself into a meditative state, L slowly fell asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Note:

(Light) This is where the action begins. ;D This is also where I will be discontinuing uploads of new chapters until I receive some comments. I'll be checking daily so if you want to see more, let me know what you think!

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Light awoke to the sun shining brightly in his eyes. He sat up and hurriedly glanced over at L. The detective was facing Light, curled up in the normal position, with the tip of his thumb to his lips. Grateful that L was still asleep, Light's mouth formed a Kira-like smile. It was crucial that Light be awake before the other man in order for him to setup the day that he had planned ahead of them.

Steadily and stealthily, Light made his way to the edge of the bed. By a stroke of luck, the chain attached to his wrist permitted him to just reach the intercom on the wall. After a few short minutes, he had communicated to Watari his requests.

With an accomplished sigh, Light sat on the edge of the bed. He fidgeted with the cuff and chain on his wrist, his gaze eventually tracing the chain back to the other man attached to it. For a moment he sat in a trance, eyes glued to L. It was then that he realized he needed a shower. Light crawled over to L and nudged him gently. "Ryuuzaki. Hey, wake up."

L's eyes blinked open before closing again. He rolled over, closer to Light and captured the arm that had been used to shake him. Holding it to his chest, he gave a content sigh and drifted off back to sleep again, his thumb still by his mouth. His legs were curled up around Light's arm, and his other arm was holding it to his chest. Light was well and truly trapped by a sleeping detective.

Light gasped. "Hey! Ryuuzaki!" His brow furrowed as he tried to tug his arm out of the other man's grasp. Failing, he suddenly fell forward on top of L.

L finally let go, only to pull his arms all the way around Light. He rolled them over and rested his head on Light's chest. He sighed softly and snuggled closer to him. He stayed like that for about three minutes before blinking his eyes open. "L-Light...?" He asked, confused as to why he was curled around Light. He let go and pushed Light away slightly and sat up. He sat in his normal position and looked at Light. "What...?"

Light's cheeks were a bright shade of crimson. He wouldn't look at L. "I, uh…I'd like to take a shower," he managed to say.

L's face became the same shade as Light's and he nodded. "Very well... How do you suppose that would work?" He asked, raising his hand with the chain attached. He looked at Light with a raised eyebrow.

Leaving Light alone would negate the whole idea of them being chained, however, L knew that he couldn't go into the bathroom with Light wanting a shower. Seeing Light naked would send L over the edge, and he knew it. He knew that he wouldn't be able to control his actions.

Light already suspected L to be attracted to him.

Light got up and moved away from the bed. After a moment, he turned toward L. "The chain will have to be removed in order for us to change. Then, there'd be no sense in reattaching it if you're just going to get in the shower with me." Light almost choked on these last words, the heat returning to his face. "That is-I'm sure you need a shower, too. And that way, you can keep an eye on me, as well." He managed to sound casual as he raised an eyebrow in L's direction.

Swallowing thickly, L became much redder than before. He nodded, reaching into his trouser pocket for the key to the cuffs. He undid them and flushed darker as he realized that Light was soon to be naked.

"I don't think this is a good idea." L said thickly. "Your father would object to lack of privacy..." he covered up.

Light's eyes widened. He didn't except L to object, seeing as how the man was obviously attracted to him. But again, Light was confident that L would keep his hands to himself, which was why he had suggested a shared shower. So why was the detective so hesitant? He would have to test L. "Alright, we'll take turns then, if you trust me." He started towards the bathroom.

"You know I can't..." L said slowly. He bit his lip, still flushing deeply. "Both of us in a shower can only end in disaster." He said softly, looking away. "However, I cannot trust you alone. I am unsure as to what action to take." He admitted. "Perhaps a shower with swim shorts?" L suggested.

Light was taken aback by this sudden admittance. He had significantly underestimated the other's urges and how severe they were. Light was startled as he felt his own growing hard at the thought. Silently, he scolded it down. "Swim shorts? That sounds a little ridiculous to me." He turned back to L and his heart-rate doubled at the forlorn look the man had on his face. It was rather endearing. Light realized the sudden awkwardness of the situation, particularly on his part. And why was he feeling so aroused?

Fighting back hormones, Light proposed, "If you still cannot trust me, I suppose we could keep the chain on, and you could stand outside of the shower while I am using it." He was running out of ideas, too.

"I am afraid that won't work." L said, shaking his head. He raised a thumb to his mouth. "The shower is surrounded by glass walls." He didn't trust himself not to look. And if he looked, he'd want to touch. But if he touched, he'd regret it. He was sure that wasn't something Light was interested in.

He sighed softly and looked at Light for a second. "Could you survive with a mere wash for today until we can think this through completely?" He could handle Light shirtless beside the large sink. He was sure he could. Shirtless was easy...right?

L silently cursed his hormones. Why did they have to decide to exist _now_? If this had been anyone else, L wouldn't have found this situation so difficult.

As much as Light suddenly realized he _wanted _to take a shower with L, he agreed to the man's suggestion and they made their way to the bathroom. Standing in front of the mirror, he glanced at L, who was staring at the floor. Light's heartbeat quickened again as he removed his shirt and began to sponge down his chest. He was beginning to feel self-conscious, which was quite uncharacteristic for him. To break the unbearable silence, he asked, "What about you?"

"I'll wash later." L said, brushing Light off slightly. He looked at Light and had to look away again, his face flushed red. His self restraint was fast breaking. Light was stood there, dripping wet, half naked. This was harder than he thought. With a growl of frustration, he turned to Light and pushed him into a wall, his lips roughly colliding with the others. He couldn't control it, all he wanted to do was... well... stuff that he shouldn't be thinking of with the younger male.

Stunned by the sheer force at which L had pushed him, Light broke apart from the detective. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and growled, "Ryuuzaki, what the hell are you doing!?" He hated to admit it, but the kiss had excited him and he felt an erection coming on again. But he couldn't let L know this. It was just too weird.

L let go of Light suddenly to pull back and stare at him. He brought his hand up to his mouth and blinked a few times. He bit his lip and pulled his hand away. "I – I'm sorry..." He said softly, his voice thick and dry. Swallowing, he turned away. "Please accept my apology." He said, "And my assurance that it won't happen again. My – My self-restraint slipped for a moment. I'm sorry."

The scowl that Light wore turned to a look of despair as he watched the array of expressions on L's face. Light's actions and words had made this man before him feel regret and, in all probability, rejection. He couldn't stand it. "No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you. You warned me of this," he chuckled, "I suppose I should have seen it coming."

Without any conscious thought, Light gently pulled L's face up to his own and pressed his lips to the others. Then he stood back and smiled. L tasted sweet.

L blinked his eyes open and looked at Light and swallowed. "I..." he said softly, not sure what else to say. He wanted to lean up to Light and kiss him. He didn't though. He bit his lip and nodded slightly, gesturing back to the sink. "You should... You should do what you came in here to do..." He was flushed now, his heart beating wildly. His throat was dry and he was trembling slightly.

The rational part of Light's mind screamed at him to stop, but he just couldn't let the moment slip away. "This is-, "he kissed L again," what we came in here to do," and again, "isn't it?" Their lips met for a third time and Light forced himself to pull away once more. Dizziness engulfed his brain as he felt heat rushing up to color his cheeks. For the first time in his life, Light was incapable of lucid thought.

L had leaned into each and every one of the kisses, his eyes closed and a small moan escaping him. L leaned closer to Light, connecting their lips. He deepened the kiss slightly opening his mouth and biting his lower lip slightly, trying to have his lips open. He wanted more of this man, to have more of him closer to him. He found his arms slowly stroking Light's naked chest, a small shiver going through him as he realized what was happening.

Light's eyes rolled at the man's touch. This all felt far too good to be wrong. "L," Light whispered, abandoning the fake name, as he pushed the other man against the counter. He forcefully claimed L's mouth with his own, wanting to make L powerless through his touch. With his fingers entangled in the detective's thick dark hair, Light thrust his tongue into the others mouth and ground his erection against L's leg. He was losing control.

L gasped slightly at the feeling of something hard against his leg. He felt himself giving up all control, just leaning into Light, enjoying the feelings coursing through him. He pulled Light even closer, his arms around Light's naked waist. He found his fingers pushing at Light's waist band, pushing under, stroking the soft skin under the clothing.

Realizing what L was heading for, Light snatched L's wrist and urged it down further. "Do it," he murmured, his eyes closed in ecstasy.

Moaning softly, L started massaging Light's ass. His mind was yelling at him to pull away, to stop now. But he couldn't. His body wouldn't follow those commands. Instead, he found himself pushing Light back towards their room, keeping their mouths attached and his fingers on Light's ass.

Light collapsed onto the bed, pulling L with him. Capturing L by the wrist again, he pushed the man's hand into his pants, forcing the fingers around his cock, showing L what he wanted. As he did this, Light began to unfasten L's jeans.

L moaned softly and pushed closer to Light, his fingers moving to gently caress the member in his hands. He pushed Light so that he was under him and kissed him before pulling back slightly. Helping Light get his trousers undone, he then focused on Light's clothes, pulling them off so quickly that they almost tore.

He pulled out of the kiss long enough to remove his own clothes. He leaned down and kissed him again, his hands brushing against Light's naked skin. He was once again fondling his member, but this time, his own was brushing up beside it. Moaning deeply, L pulled back slightly to look at Light. "All the way?" he asked breathlessly. He wasn't exactly going to rape Light. If Light just wanted him to get him off with his hand, that was good enough for him.

Before Light could answer, a knock came at the door. In a panic, Light pushed L off of him and hurriedly put his own pants back on. His previous actions suddenly came back to him in a rush. _What was I thinking?_

L followed Light's actions, dressing himself, quickly before calling for whoever it was to come in. He was still flushed and panting deeply. He tried hard to calm his breathing down, waiting for whoever it was to come in.


	4. Chapter 4

Author's Note:

(Light) Wow! A couple reviews in only one day! *is probably more excited than necessary* Thank you so much! I guess I'll upload a few more chapters. =)  
Please read and review!

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The door opened and Watari appeared in its frame. "Yagami-kun, it's ready," the old man spoke to Light, with a brief smile at L.

"Thank you, Watari. We'll be down shortly." Light offered a weak smile as he tried to steady his breathing.

Watari nodded and then placed a small basket on the table just inside the doorway, before exiting and closing the door.

Noticing L's questioning look, Light explained, "I've planned a special day for us. Well, more for you." Light flushed slightly. "I said last night that you should get out more so…well, you'll see soon enough. But we should clean ourselves up first." The two men had a disheveled appearance about them.

L was still panting, staring at Light. "What?" He asked. He didn't like not knowing something. He reached for his clothes, taking the chain off completely to dress. He didn't take his eyes off Light though. "You should get some clean clothes..." He said, throwing a pair of his own jeans at Light. They were clean. They were the closest clothes he could find. He hadn't realized that they were his own until he had thrown at the other. Still, he kept his face calm, not showing that it was a mistake.

"Thank you," Light said softly. For the next few minutes, the two of them tidied themselves up. Light hastily washed his face in the bathroom and combed out his disarranged mop of hair. He wished he could take a cold shower, but he knew L would condemn that.

As they were about to leave the room, Light put a hand on L's shoulder. "Ryuuzaki-I mean, L-I'm sorry." He paused trying to find the right words to express his shame. "It was very rash of me to do what I did. I can't explain what I was thinking or how I felt. I don't mean to lead you on, but at the same time, I can't say that I didn't enjoy what happened." He looked the detective straight in the face. "I just don't want it to affect the case or…our friendship."

L raised his almost invisible eyebrows. "What is it you want from me?" he asked, "I was the one who started. Frankly I'm surprised that you continued it as fast as you did." He had accepted the apology before it was even said, though it did hurt slightly. As Light had said, he'd led him on. And now Light had pretty much said that he didn't want him. "Our friendship remains unmodified; however, I would like to know if you want any more than that from me."

Light's heart was aching. "I-I'm not entirely sure what I want, L. This has never happened to me before." He gestured to the two of them. "Being with another man, and _you _of all people. I didn't mean that in a bad way," he added hurriedly, "but I'm your prime suspect in a murder case." Light looked into L's dark eyes and felt his heart breaking. He wanted so badly to kiss L, to make these feelings of shame disappear. Instead, he came back to focus on the matter at hand.

"As for our plans for today, you might not exactly enjoy them which is why I am providing you this," he gestured to the basket Watari had brought them. "I hope it will make up for what you're going to go through." In fact, Light _knew _that the cakes and candies inside the basket would satisfy L. The older man must be starting to go through withdrawals by now.

L looked into the basket and blinked a few times. A small smile graced his lips as he saw what was inside of it. He pulled out a hard candy and started eating it. "What is it you have planned for today?" he asked, "That I will not enjoy?" He looked through the basket letting out a small squeak of delight as he noticed his favorite candy from Europe. He pulled out the candy stick and started to lick it, shoving the long cylindrical stick in his mouth and closing his eyes slightly.

Light moaned inwardly as he saw what L was doing to the hard candy. Then he grinned his Kira-like grin. "I can't tell you _yet._ Let's get going. You can bring that basket with you." Light dragged the detective who dragged the basket of sweets out of the room and down the stairs to the main area with the monitors and equipment. Light's father and the others were there, but thankfully, Light saw no sign of Misa.

"Good morning, Dad." He waved at his father and the rest of the team. He noticed Matsuda in one corner, staring intently at a monitor, but thought nothing of it.

"Are you going somewhere, Light?" His father inquired as Light headed for the exit with L in tow.

Aizawa looked up from the documents he was analyzing. "And Ryuuzaki, too? He never goes outside."

"Yeah, that's why we're taking the day off. I thought L should see the sky for a change."

The team exchanged incredulous looks. "Light, this is the Kira Investigation," his father argued, "You think you can just 'take a day off?'"

Light sighed. He knew this wasn't going to be easy. "Dad, Kira is going to kill people whether L and I are here or somewhere else."

L looked at Light in confusion. "Light, your father is correct. Also, I don't like the sky..." He pouted slightly, before shaking his head. He pulled his hand from Light and moved to sit by his computer. He put his basket down and turned the computer. He didn't look at Light, even though he now realized that he never put the chain back on. He kept Light in the corner of his eyes.

"L…," Light began. Then Watari emerged from somewhere with brand new cuffs and a chain. He handed them to Light who gave Watari a questioning look. _What a strange man, _he thought. But he was grateful, nonetheless. Light rushed over to L and clamped the chain on the detective's wrist and his own.

"L, I'm sorry, but I am in on this plan of Light's as well." Watari grinned knowingly at Light who grinned back. "You may not enjoy it at first, but by the end of the day, I promise you, you will not regret it."

The team watched this exchange with wide eyes and then shook their heads. Let them do what they want.

Light looked at L kindly, "Don't worry, it'll be alright. I'll take care of you." Then he mentally slapped himself. He had to stop talking to L that way.

L looked at Light with a raised eyebrow. "I refuse to go anywhere unless someone explains to me what you intend to do." He sent a hurt, betrayed look to Watari before turning his attention towards his basket. He picked up the candy stick again and began to suck on it just like before, this time, however, keeping his eyes open. He wanted an answer.

Light swallowed once and tried to keep his thoughts from straying to all the sexual things he wanted to do to L. He cleared his mind and replied, "I just want to take you out. Shopping, sight-seeing, anywhere the day takes us. Maybe we can finally play tennis again." He smiled innocently at L, urging him to do the same. "I said you might not enjoy it because I'd like to get you some new clothes, maybe something less…" he searched for the right word, "loose-fitting?"

"You wish to see me in tighter clothing?" L asked with a surprised look on his face. After looking at Watari, L sighed. "If you desired fresh air so badly, you could have just asked. You did not need to make up such a story." He stood and took the basket. "Watari, please bring me my credit card."

Watari was already prepared and swiftly pulled a credit card out of his jacket pocket, handing it to L. "Be sure that he does not buy only sweets," he directed to Light.

"The car is ready then?"

"Yes, it is waiting outside."

Light nodded and jerked on the chain for L to follow. As the two reached the exit, Light's father called out.

"Light! Promise me you will be careful. Kira is out there, after all."

"Don't worry, dad. I'm with L, the greatest detective in the world. I'll be fine." Light grinned and stole a quick glance at the man beside him.

"One last thing, both of you," Watari began, "please be kind to the driver."


	5. Chapter 5

L didn't get long to watch Watari, as Light was pulling him away. He sighed and followed the other. L was looking at him with a strange expression on his face. "Light... why are you forcing me outside?" He asked, not seeming too surprised, or upset. "From your description earlier, I could have easily mistaken this as a date." He warned.

None the less, he climbed into the car without any more complaint.

Light sighed and ruffled L's hair. "Think of it however you want, L." Then Light kissed him on the cheek. It was becoming too difficult to control himself. Sometimes L was just too damn cute.

The driver cleared his throat unexpectedly and the two in the backseat turned to acknowledge the third presence that had nearly been overlooked. "Do you mind? I just had lunch." He scowled.

"L, you know this guy, don't you?" Light whispered.

L glared towards the driver and nodded. "Yes." He sighed and leaned forward, talking to the driver. "Take us to the mall." He ordered before sitting back and looking at Light with another raised eyebrow and an otherwise blank expression.

"Do you have interest in me?" He asked bluntly.

_He sure does like to get straight to the point, doesn't he? _ Light paused for a moment and considered how to answer the query. "Well, I wouldn't say that I'm _not _interested in you." He kept his voice down for the driver. "Honestly, sometimes I feel captivated by you." Light flushed slightly and stared out the window. "I find myself doing things before thinking…like today. Why do you think that is, L?"

"Because my mind is vast enough to challenge your own." Light had been having to contend with the same thing, "Because of all the people you've ever met, I'm the first that you seem to be able to talk with. We think alike and I can understand you."

He was facing forward, so he didn't notice the pink tinge to Light's face. "I have been suffering the same." He admitted. "I find I am entranced by your intelligence – fascinated by the way your mind works." He turned to look at Light, offering a very small, almost invisible smile, "And I have long been sexually attracted to you."

Light's throat tightened and he felt himself becoming aroused again. He turned to L. "I…feel the same way," he admitted, "although my feelings are more recent. But I'm curious; have you felt this way about other men before?" He would find it shocking to hear that the world's greatest detective was gay.

L nodded, looking forward again. "A few times. I have never lost control before though." He said quietly, "It is...not like me to make the first move." He turned to Light, "I apologize for what happened before."

He then turned his head forward, again, leaning back against the back seat of the car. "Why did you ask me out?" He asked.

Light felt a tinge of jealously that he was not the first man L had had feelings for. "I just wanted to get out of that place and get away from the tension." Light sighed and leaned back like L. "And maybe I wanted to take you away somewhere all to myself," he added mysteriously.

Feeling his skin flush slightly, L smiled softly, not showing it to Light. "So where are we going?" he asked, trying to find a way to fight the flush on his face. "You said something about clothes?"

"Yeah, and apparently we're going to the mall." He looked at L with a caring expression. "Is that alright with you? You don't care much for crowds, do you?"

"I'm... not one for crowds, no." He said with a soft smile. "But the mall should be fine, if you're alright with people staring at us." He lifted his right hand, showing Light the chain.

"No," Light murmured, staring at L's hand thoughtfully, "I don't mind at all." He took L's hand in his own and kissed it, his lips caressing the smooth skin lightly. He looked up, his eyes catching L's, and Light leaned forward to press his lips against the others.

"AHEM." The driver interrupted rudely. "We've arrived at the mall."

L had blinked in surprise when Light had kissed his hand, and had gasped slightly when Light kissed him on the lips. He reached forward and pressed the button that hid their area from the driver. He then pressed closer to Light in the kiss, his arms going around his neck.

"Oh, god," the driver said to himself, annoyed.

Light moaned softly and slipped his hand underneath L's shirt. His fingers found a nipple and he began to rub it gently. He dominated L's mouth with his own and pushed him down into a laying position on the seat.

Gasping a little, L found himself moaning, pressing into the kiss deeply. He started pulling at Light's shirt, pulling it out of Light's pants. He found his hands up the back of his shirt, his cold hands trailing softly over his skin.

Light shivered slightly at the other man's cold touch, but he was only more aroused. He pressed the full weight of his body against L's and withdrew his hand from underneath L's shirt to grasp the man's hair with both hands. Light had to have him. He closed his eyes and lost himself completely in L's kiss, returning it forcefully with his tongue now completely in the others mouth.

Moaning a little more, L pulled his hands to Light's shoulders. He pushed him away slightly, having trouble breathing. This was getting too much for him. He'd never been so... aroused. Panting, he smiled nervously at the other. "I'd rather not do this in the back of the car with a homophobic driver..." He panted out.

Light moaned pleadingly, saddened that he had been pushed away from L. His full-blown erection throbbed, begging for release. He could see that L had the same problem. "I know," Light gasped. If they continued to arouse each other with no release, they would both be in a lot of pain. But Light knew that L was right.

Without warning, the back doors of the vehicle opened on their own. "Time to go," the driver announced loudly.

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Next chapter begins L and Light's first date!


	6. Chapter 6

Author's Note:

(Light) Introducing....L and Light's first date! Enjoy and please review!

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Shrugging, L gestured to Light, as if to say 'told you'. He sat up and then took a deep breath before exiting the car. He turned to wait for Light, tugging slightly on the chains.

Light got out of the car clumsily, his arousal not lessening as he gazed longingly at the detective. _Damn, he makes me act so out of character. _But he smiled faintly and smoothed down his pants.

Before they started heading for the mall's entrance, the driver rolled down his window and called out to them, revealing his face for the first time. "When you two are ready to be picked up, give me a call. My number is in your phone, L. Under 'Rester.'" He smirked and with that, drove off.

Light gave L a quizzical look.

L shrugged and gestured to the mall. "Shall we?" He asked. He turned, without waiting for an answer and moved towards a candy store. It was the first store he'd noticed, and the only one to hold his attention. He smiled slightly as he walked in and saw all the sweet things around.

"L-er, Ryuuzaki," Light began. He realized he probably shouldn't call the detective 'L' in public. "I was told to not allow you to buy sweets. Don't you have enough at headquarters?" He smiled fondly.

"Watari said to make sure I don't buy _only_ sweets." L corrected. He turned around to Light and pouted softly, "Would you deny me my addiction?" He asked, making his eyes wide and watery.

Light flushed but then looked away and folded his arms across his chest, frowning. "You're denying me mine, so I think I have the right," he replied childishly.

Looking at Light, L gave a innocently confused look, his hand reaching to his mouth, his thumb pressed against his lips. "I'm denying you your sweets?" L asked, acting confused. He cocked his head to the right, looking at Light through wide, unblinking eyes. "How am I denying you your sweets?" He gestured around, "Pick something. I'll buy it for you.

Light suddenly stepped toward L, stopping within inches of his face. "No, L." He caressed the detective's cheek gently with the back of his hand. "You're denying me my addiction," Light whispered and then kissed him tenderly. He stepped back when he heard a giggling sound coming from the front desk of the candy store. The two female employees apparently had liked what they had just witnessed.

Light smiled to himself and then guided L towards one of the candy displays in the back of the store. "Alright, buy whatever you'd like." He realized he was holding L's hand.

L was flushed a deep red, not used to public displays of affection – especially not with his main suspect. He looked down at their hands, acting somewhat of a teenage boy, on his first date, when in reality, he was a twenty-four year old man on his first date. After a moment, he looked up at Light, realizing he'd said something. What was it...? Oh yes!

L looked around the shelves and let his eyes linger around the candy. Eventually, he stepped forward, reaching out with his left hand for the bag of candy. He smiled at it before turning to Light. "I'll have this..." he said softly, realizing that he was still holding Light's hand. He blushed a little darker, but didn't make any other moves to indicate that he'd noticed it.

"OK." Light gazed down at their hands, and noticed the chain connecting them now dragging on the floor. _It's rather unnecessary now, isn't it? _He thought. _I wouldn't want to leave L's side even for a moment. _

L paid for his candy and the two left the store, hand in hand, after receiving bashful looks from the employees. Light ruffled L's hair when he saw the reddening on the man's face. "Are you alright?" He inquired as they stood amidst the crowded mall. "I'd like to take you to at least one clothing store, but if you're not feeling comfortable we can go." The concern on Light's face was genuine.

L shook his head, still looking at Light. "I'm fine." He said softly, still confused as to why Light was showing this much affection after only one night – when they didn't even really do anything. He figured that there must be something wrong in his head, that L had somehow damaged the other male's psyche the night prior.

"We'll go to a clothing store, but we won't get anything outrageous."

Light nodded and marched L through the passage of shoppers. As he picked through the garments in the clothing store, observing L as he tried on Light's selections, he was deep in thought. He did not feel himself. Wasn't there something else he should be doing right now? Was there was something he was forgetting? This was so unlike him. He felt so…weak. But the way L made him feel, it was too good to deny. Light decided that he wouldn't ignore his own or L's feelings any longer. They would find and arrest Kira together, and then perhaps they could have a normal relationship.

But L had said that he'd had feelings for other men before. _Is he really serious about me? Doesn't he still believe me to be Kira? Should I ask him if he wants to take our relationship to the next level? Or would that make me look suspicious? _Light nodded and smiled absentmindedly as L showed him a shirt. _I'm not Kira, so I should have nothing to worry about. _His memory mulled over the day's events and he sighed happily. He'd never be in love before, but he'd imagined this is how it felt.

_I want to be with L._

L was confused, more than confused. He felt strange. There was a buzzing, tingling, _warm_ feeling in his chest. He spent an hour, pretending to be concentrating on shopping before he stopped suddenly, right in front of a store. His eyes widened and his mouth opened slightly.

That feeling... it was happiness.

L was feeling happy. That was the first time he'd ever known it.

"Have you found any clothes you'd be willing to wear, Ryuuzaki?" Light asked after they had spent about an hour in the clothing store.

Finding himself smiling, L nodded, looking at Light but not at the clothes. "Yeah..." He said a little awed. He looked down at the clothes he was holding and realized that it was a pair of skinny jeans and a tighter white shirt.

Jeans and a shirt.

How original.

Light looked down at the clothes in L's arms and chuckled. "At least they're tighter. You have such a nice body, it's a shame you don't show it off." He gave L a sly smile and then his eyes softened. "I don't need you to change anyway. You're perfect just as you are." He put his arm around L and squeezed gently.

L flushed pink, his cheeks and ears darkened and he looked down at his body. He'd never felt like his body was very good. He was too thin, too tall, and he was hunched, in a bad posture. He sighed softly and handed the clothes over the counter, pulling out his credit card to pay. He then turned to Light and smiled softly. "Shall we go for food?" He asked quietly.

"Yeah, that sounds good." Carrying the shopping bag for L, Light led him out of the store and into the main passageway. In a few minutes, Light found the perfect place. A quaint little tea shop in a secluded corner of the mall. Here, Light could converse with L in private.

"Here, take a look at the menu," Light offered, handing L a small fancy booklet. They were seated at a small circular table toward the back of the shop. "They have excellent soup, fine breads, and also quite a few sweet things. But I believe their feature item is the top quality tea they make." Light pointed out each item on the menu.

L looked at the menu and smiled softly, holding it up so that he couldn't be seen displaying the emotion. He saw something on the menu and put it down, schooling his features as he pointed to his selection.

Pancakes.

He also looked at the drinks and decided on a chocolate milk shake.

He then looked to Light and sighted softly. "What is this outing really for?" He asked.

Light looked at the man across from him and sighed. What _was _this all for? _Well, initially I suppose I wanted to get L away from headquarters. Away from his work. I wanted to see what he would be like out in the normal world. But now…_ Light gazed across the table at the one he realized he cared for so much. The detective's dark eyes looked into his and Light found his hand reaching out to grasp the others.

"I think we should make this serious." Light asserted, the intensity of his gaze not wavering.

Breath hitching slightly, L looked down at their hands. He was flushed, and he took a moment to reply. "I don't even know what this _is_." He said quietly. But he was smiling very slightly. He was still looking at their joined hands. He moved his eyes to look up at Light. "But we can try it." He said softly.

Light beamed. "I have to admit, I don't exactly know how this works. Uh," He flushed slightly. "Does this mean we're boyfriends now?"

"I have to admit, that I don't much like that term." He said softly. "Perhaps '_lovers_' is a better term. However, in order for that to work, we would have to engage in the activities that would cause people to gain that title." He said softly, flushing even darker at his suggestion.

Turning a lovely shade of crimson, Light replied quietly, "I'm fine with that if you are." He found himself becoming aroused again and wished their food would be brought soon so the two of them could return to their bedroom at headquarters.

L nodded, smiling a little, and biting his lips nervously. Truth was, while he'd had attraction to men before, he'd never actually acted on them more than a kiss or a few touches here and there. He'd never actually had sex.

But he was willing to go there with Light. He _wanted_ to do it with Light.

"Ryuuzaki. L," Light began, "I think I lo-" His words stuck in his throat as he was suddenly distracted by a flash of color over L's shoulder. A blonde head bobbed into his view as it entered the tea shop. "Oh no," Light breathed. He moved to the left in his chair, hoping L's form would block him from view. But then he heard a high-pitched squeal.

"LIGHT!"

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Betcha can guess who that is. ;D


	7. Chapter 7

Author's Note:

(Light) And now for the plot line!  
Thanks to all who have reviewed. Your reviews make me upload more chapters, so keep 'em coming! ;D

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L couldn't help the flash of hatred that came over his face when he heard that voice. He tried to sink into the seat, but forgot that their hands were still connected on the table.

Light quickly withdrew his hand from L's as Misa Amane skipped over to their table.

"Oh, Light! I'm so glad I found you! I went to headquarters to see you but you weren't there! I was so worried. But then Matsu told me you and Ryuuzaki went to the mall together!" Misa eyed the two of them skeptically. "So just what _are _you doing here with _him_?" She pointed an accusing finger at L.

Light closed his eyes, gritting his teeth. "We're just taking a day off and since we're connected by this chain," he gestured, "we have to go everywhere together."

Misa frowned. "Well, I wish you would have told me. You have my phone number, you know."

L groaned a little and moved to try and sink further into the chair. He was hoping that Misa wouldn't notice that L's pants were a little tight, due to what they'd previously been saying.

He bit his lips, his hands around his legs now. The chain jingled softly and he kept his eyes on the table. He was still flushed darkly, but he managed to speak properly. "Misa, why don't you return to the headquarters? You are still under suspicion; therefore, you should not be out unsupervised. The longer you remain away from the headquarters, the higher your percentage goes."

He wanted her to leave.

"Ryuuzaki, why are you so mean to me?!" Misa wailed. But then as she reached into her purse, a smirk appeared on her face. Light caught a glimpse of a metal tool as she used it to break apart the chain binding him to L.

Suddenly, Light found himself being pulled from his chair and out of the tea shop. He looked back at L's stunned expression before he was whipped around a corner and out of sight. Misa finally stopped when they had entered an empty janitor's closet.

"Misa, what the hell was that for?"

She beamed up at him, her eyes shining. "Light, I did everything you asked." She pulled out a black notebook from her purse and handed it to him.

As Light touched the notebook, he felt his heart stop. His mind went blank and he couldn't see. Then, all at once, a flood of sounds, names, and faces crowded his mind. What was going on? He wanted to scream out, but he couldn't find his voice.

_Kira._

_Shinigami. Ryuk. Death Note. Raye Penber._

_Kira._

_Naomi Misora._

_L._

_Death Note._

_Kira._

_I've won! I am Kira._

_~~oOo~~~_

Stunned, L tried to follow Light, but found that his legs had gone to sleep. He stumbled a little, but then he was up. Unfortunately, Light was gone already, and L couldn't see him anywhere.

The young detective reached into his pocket, knowing for a fact that Light had one of his phones with him (L had hidden it in his pocket). He dialed the number with his secondary phone, and hoped that Light would answer. As he was doing this, he found himself walking back towards the headquarters, the half of his chain trailing behind him uselessly.

In the janitor's closet, Light stood rigid, gripping the Death Note as if it were his last salvation. His Kira-like grin was back, only this time it was genuine. Misa now had her arms around him, her head resting on his chest.

"Light, now we can finally be together," she sighed.

Her voice brought him out of his triumphant daze, and Light detached Misa from him to look her straight in the face, his hand still firmly grasping the notebook.

"Misa, who is the owner?"

"The owner? Oh, the owner! I found out it's Kyosuke Higuchi of the Yotsuba group! But I didn't kill him because I knew that you would want to do it." She giggled.

_Yotsuba, _Light thought, _I knew they were behind this. _"How did you get him to confess?"

"Easy! I told him I was the second Kira. He wants to marry me!" She cackled. "But I would never marry him. He's disgusting and old! Nothing like my Light," she cooed, her arms around him again. "Then, he showed me where he hid his Death Note. It was so easy to take it when he wasn't looking."

"Give me a pen." Light ordered. He flipped open the notebook, and with the pen Misa gave him, proceeded to write down Higuchi's name.

"Oh!" Misa marveled. "Now _you'll_ be the owner!"

Forty seconds later, Light grinned menacingly. Now there was just one more person to eliminate. Then he gasped.

_I-I can't. Shit. L, oh no, what am I going to do?_

"Light, since you're here, let's go the movies!" Misa looked up at him as she jumped up and down excitedly. "There's this really romantic one out, and we can-"

Light cut her off, "No, Misa." He said sternly. "Listen, I need you to start killing criminals again. You have to go dig up your old notebook. Give me your phone. I'll program the coordinates in." She handed her phone to him obediently. When he was finished, he handed it back to her. "There'll be a letter inside of it but I want you to disregard what it says. Just tear a few pages from it, and keep killing criminals."

"OK!" Misa clapped. "I'll do whatever you say, Light." She hugged him again. "But promise me we'll go on a date soon!"

He sighed, annoyed. "I'm not promising anything. Just do what I tell you, Misa. It makes me very happy." He put on a beautifully fake smile, one he was so practiced at using around her.

"Oh, Light." She reached up and kissed him on the cheek. "I love you! Bye!" Misa rushed out of the closet, closing the door.

Light felt nothing. He had already forgotten about her. The man he had developed feelings for swelled into his brain. He slipped the notebook into the back of his pants and exited the closet. _First, I've got to hide it._

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I hope everyone likes this 180 degree turn in the story. :) It's going to get very different from now on, so please review to see more!


	8. Chapter 8

Author's Note:

(Light) Here, have some more! Please review. ^_^

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There seemed to be no answer on the cell phone, so L closed it and frowned. He moved to the headquarters and had a brief conversation with Soichiro.

If Light was to return home, he would instantly be brought into L's custody. Once there, L would talk to him, and find out exactly what happened.

And if he deemed it necessary, he'd arrest Light on suspicion of being Kira. He'd throw him in a cell and lock away the key until the end of the investigation, regardless of his feelings.

The thing was, L wasn't quite sure _what_ his feelings were. He didn't know how to describe what he was feeling for the other. He knew he had an attraction to him, but it was more than that. He wanted to talk to him, get to know him better, be around him, not just fuck his brains out and leave.

L was more than a little afraid of his feelings towards the other.

Thinking, Light put his hands in his pockets. His left hit something hard and when he pulled it out, he found a small cell phone. It was off. _How did this get here? Probably L. _His heart beat became erratic as he thought of the detective. Light had left him all alone. What must L be feeling right now? Feeling guilty, Light switched on the phone to call him, but then stopped himself. _I have to do something with the notebook. Should I bring it back to the headquarters as evidence of Higuchi's murders? No, I'll likely be suspected even more if I did that. L is too smart. _

Light suddenly remembered why he had wanted to kill L. Their intelligence levels were equal. No matter what Light had done as Kira, L was always quick to figure it out. It was as if the two of them could not coexist in the same world. Or at least, not in the one that Light sought to create. _Damn it! How could I have developed feelings for him? He outwits me even in that way! _Light knew that even if he did succeed in killing L now, he would regret it for the rest of his life. It was settled. He would not kill L. But he would not turn himself in either. Light now had two goals. In addition to creating a better world, he wanted to be with L.

A half an hour later, Light was on his way back to the headquarters, where he assumed L had returned to. He had met up with his old friend, Ryuk, and had told him to hide the Death Note somewhere and to not tell him where it was. In case Light was interrogated, he did not want to know where Kira's ultimate murder weapon was hidden. However, he instructed Ryuk that he would need to tell Misa where it was hidden, but only when Light instructed him to. As reluctant as Ryuk was to take orders from Light, he was forced to buy the Shinigami a few apples. Some things just never changed.

Looking up at the darkening sky, Light went over the day's events and all the plans he had. He was exhausted. And he wasn't ready to face L as he approached the entrance to the enormous skyscraper they stayed in. Nevertheless, he went through the scanners and detectors and found himself in the main room of the headquarters.

Once he was inside, all conversation stopped. Everyone turned to face Light as L moved forward, a pair of traditional handcuffs in his hand. "Will you come with me willingly, or must I force you?" He asked in his monotonic voice. He was down to business.

In the time that Light had been gone, L had decided upon keeping his emotions on the back bench. His feelings for Light could wait until the current situation was resolved. He had work to do.

Light looked into L's eyes and saw that all feeling was gone. Well, if he was going to be that way, Light would do just the opposite. He didn't want to deceive L with his feelings, but he couldn't be captured either. Light would have to use his own emotions to bring out the emotions in L.

Light made his eyes look sad and hunched his body slightly to appear defeated. "I'll come with you."

L nodded, ignoring Light's posture and led him to a room. It was a plane, white room, with no furniture. There was a camera in one corner, able to see the whole room. Once inside, L turned to Light and made sure he was inside before closing the door. He then moved to Light and looked him in the eyes. "Where did you go?" He asked.

Light looked away from L and down at his own shoes. "Misa dragged me away to some photo shoot she was doing," he replied quietly. "She said she needed my opinion." He looked up and chuckled slightly. "You know how she is. I'm sorry, L. I feel really bad about it. I can't imagine how worried you must have been." He reached out for L's hand.

L took a step backwards, looking at Light. He could tell the other was lying, and it hurt. It really did. "I am a better judge than that, Light. Tell me the truth. If you refuse, I will tie you to a truth detector. And if you refuse on that, you _will_ be arrested." His words were venomous, but his tone was still monotonic. He gestured up to the camera. "That doesn't record sound, and this is a soundproof room. That camera is merely for my safety. So that Watari can be convinced that you are not going to hurt me." He didn't know why he told him that.

Light was taken aback. "Hurt you?" He moved closer to L and touched the man's cheek gently. "L, why would I hurt you? And if you think I'm lying about where I was, call Misa."

In the work room where the team watched the two on a screen without audio, Matsuda shouted and pointed a finger at the screen. "See, I told you!" He said to Aizawa. "The footage I showed you earlier _was _what it looked like! There's something going on between Ryuuzaki and Light."

L flinched at the touch, stepping back. "No. If I call Misa," the name was spoken, more like a spit, with complete distaste, "she'll agree with everything you say." He shook his head. "No. I want to hear the truth, and I want to hear it from you."

_Damn it! Why is he being so stubborn? _In his mind's eye, Light saw himself wrapping his hands around the detective's throat. L's eyes were bulging, his fingers clenching around Light's wrists. And then Light was back in the bare white room and L was not choking in his hands. L was right in front of him with a stern expression that appeared void of all emotion. There was simply no fooling this guy. "Misa took me away from you to tell me that Kyosuke Higuchi is Kira. He's in the Yotsuba group. Just like we thought, they're behind the killings."

L's eyes widened substantially. "Why didn't you tell me this before?" He asked, then frowned, his finger making its way to his mouth. He was thinking. "And how did Misa know?" He looked up to Light, his heart sinking. "Misa Amane is the second Kira. And you are the first."

"What? L, how can you come to that conclusion so-,"

"She was meeting with you to tell you her plans and to receive orders, which you undoubtedly gave her..."

"That's ridiculous," Light laughed nervously, but took a small step back from the detective. "Do you really think I'm that manipulative?"

Ignoring Light, L turned to the camera, and made a gesture with his hand. He then moved to Light and clipped the hand cuffs on him, one on Light's left hand and the other on his own right.

_Fuck! _ Light was startled but made no move to struggle as L clamped the cold metal ring onto his wrist. If he made too much of a fuss over this, he would only seem even _more _suspicious. He'd just have to come quietly.

"You will be questioned further. Until then, we are to move to a more secure location." The door was opened from the outside and Watari looked in. L then took Light to the elevator. They were followed by Watari, and L pressed a button.

They were in the basement again. L led Light to the same cell he'd been in before when, as Light now remembered, he had turned himself in. He then undid their cuffs and pushed him gently inside. Closing, and locking the door, he crouched on the other side and stared emotionlessly at Light. "Tell me the truth. Exactly what happened?"

~~oOo~~

When Watari returned to the main floor, Soichiro Yagami was waiting for him in front of the elevator. "Watari! What is happening with my son? There is no evidence to lock him up again is there?! I demand an answer!"

Watari calmly replied, "It is in Ryuuzaki's hands now."

The team was soon right behind them. "Yagami-san is Light's father," Aizawa spoke up, "and we're all involved in this investigation. We have a right to know."

Sighing, Watari nodded and pulled a cell phone from his jacket pocket. He dialed L's number.

L's phone rang, and he picked it up, looking at the caller ID. He then sighed and opened it up. "Yes Watari?" he asked, not taking his eyes off Light.

He sighed into the phone. "Light is here with me. I am attempting to attain details from him. Tell Yagami-san that he will be updated when I am finished, and assure him that I do not intend to damage him."

"Understood," Watari replied, and the call was ended.

"Wait, L. My father is right." Light argued, taking a step closer to the bars. "He and everyone else in this investigation have a right to know what you're accusing me of." His tone was beginning to sound foul.

"I would like to talk to you alone first." L said quietly. "Tell me exactly what happened. What did Misa say, how did she tell you, and _why_ did she think to tell you before everyone else here." He asked, "And if she was only speaking to you, why did you take so long to return?"

He was staring at Light, watching him carefully.

Light stood up and turned around, composing his expression into something less enraged -looking. Every fiber of his being was fighting back the urge of wanting to rip the limbs from L's body. The bloody images in his mind were becoming hard to ignore. Calmly, he replied, "Obviously Misa is in love with me. You know that. So naturally, if she had information regarding the case, she would come to me first. Just because she's cooperating with this investigation doesn't mean she trusts the rest of you." He turned again to face L. "But she is _not _the second Kira. She merely told Higuchi she was, to gain his trust. And apparently, he believed her enough to reveal his identity."

L was silent, listening to Light.

"As for the reason I took so long to return, I was looking for _you_. I must have searched the whole damn mall and it was only later that I found the cell phone you put in my pocket. By then, I assumed you had already returned to the headquarters and that's when I started to head back myself."

L nodded, accepting that. "Alright. Then why didn't you tell me this right away?" He asked softly, looking at Light with an almost invisible smile. He was looking quite sad. "Did you not trust me with this information? And if so, then why? I am in charge of this investigation, therefore you are required to tell me everything you know."

Light found his anger lessening, the monster inside of him slowly receding to the back of his mind. Now, he felt the urge for human contact. He stepped closer to the bars separating him from L. "I may not be in love with Misa, but I care enough to protect her. I thought if I told you what she told me, you'd suspect her automatically, and I was right. I was only acting in her best interests. I'm sorry I lied to you." He looked up at L with sad eyes and gripped the bars in front of him.

L closed his eyes, knowing that he couldn't look at Light otherwise he'd crumble, his resolve would break. He frowned softly and looked at him, opening his eyes slowly. "I honestly don't see why you like her." He mumbled. He moved to the lock and undid it. He then looked at Light and shook his head. "The chain will be replaced, but until then, these will have to do." He reattached the handcuffs.

"On a side note – completely unrelated to the conversation at hand, if you want anything serious with me, forget about it until Misa's out of the picture."

Light chuckled and shook his head. "You've got the completely wrong idea, Ryuuzaki. Er-L." Light silently scolded himself. He was beginning to sound too phony. "I don't like her. I'm merely doing what any gentlemen would do for a woman. Honestly, she disgusts me." He reached out to L and his expression this time was genuine. "I was trying to tell you earlier, I love you, L."

L froze, his eyes growing large. He stared at Light for a second before shaking his head. "She is still your girlfriend, regardless of your intentions towards her. And if you wish to have any sort of relations with me, she will no longer be. I refuse to be your mistress."

Fighting back the urge to burst out laughing at L's comment, Light replied, "I don't really consider her my girlfriend anyway, but if I do break up with her, then you should expect no further help from her on this case. And I don't see why she would need to stay here anymore, either." He had to clear Misa's name and get her away from headquarters. Otherwise, it would be very difficult for her to continue killing criminals. "Under those terms, I will break up with her. You should consider it a small sacrifice in comparison to what you'll get in return, L." Leaning toward him, Light smiled seductively and stroked the detective's cheek.

L leaned towards Light, but then pulled away. He shook his head. "She cannot leave until there is no doubt that she is not the second Kira." His voice was shaky. Why did Light have such power over him? Why did he feel like this every time he was around him? But he knew what he had to do. He knew that he had to keep his mind on the case. "You can understand that I hope." He said quietly, "Otherwise this would have all been for nothing."

Light took a step back and, for a split second, thought of striking L. _Damn you, L. You're going to get yourself killed if you continue like this. _His heart was breaking. He hated thinking of killing L. But every second he spent in the man's company brought him closer to the realization that something had to be done. He could not achieve his goal with this beautiful genius watching every move he and Misa made. He had to think of something quick.

Luckily, he had Ryuk write those fake rules in the Death Note earlier, in case the time ever came that Light needed to reveal the existence of the notebook to L and the rest of the team. To Light, it appeared that that time was now.

Before Light could speak, L's phone rang again. It was Watari.

L picked up his phone and sighed. "Yes Watari?" He asked into the phone, once again keeping his eyes on Light. He could feel his heart thudding against his chest.

Light could hear the urgency in Watari's voice coming from L's phone. "L, Kyosuke Higuchi of the Yotsuba group has just been found dead."


	9. Chapter 9

Author's Note:

I hope everyone doesn't mind that the lovey-dovey-ness of the first few chapters is gone. This story was always meant to be more tragic/dramatic than mushy.  
Perhaps I'll write a cute little love story with L and Light in future, but for now, I'll stick with traumatizing you lovely readers' brains with turmoil and misery. ;D

Anyway, thanks for reviewing and reading!

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"L, Kyosuke Higuchi of the Yotsuba group has just been found dead."

A familiar cackle came from behind him, and Light turned slightly to find Ryuk grinning wickedly at him. "You probably want me to move the notebook, don't you?"

Nodding his head ever so slightly, Light turned to L as Ryuk disappeared through the ceiling. _Your move, L._

L froze before stepping into action, his tone stern as he spoke into the phone. "We have reason to believe that he was working for Kira. Investigate his house. There's likely to be some form of evidence there. Be sure not to touch anything, as we'll need to scan them for finger prints." After giving orders, he closed the phone and turned to Light.

"Did you know this was going to happen?"

Light's expression was as somber as L's, a façade to mask the delight he felt at their present situation. "I did suspect," he began, folding his arms and pretending to think. "Misa discovered his true identity. If Higuchi was in fact working for Kira, there'd be no doubt that Kira would want to kill him should he be found out." He sighed. "In any case, we'd better head up there."

After a moment of thought, L nodded, making sure that the handcuffs were secure before turning and heading towards the elevator. "You are going to tell me everything you know." He said, his voice threatening. "You will trust me."

Blinking once, Light replied, aghast, "I _have _told you everything, L." As they entered the elevator he smiled slightly and took L's hand. "You will trust _me._" He didn't know how long he could keep lying to the man he loved. Inside, Light was breaking. Would he be forced to choose? His life or his love?

L pulled his hand away. "I can tell when people lie to me." He said quietly. However, it was a gamble. He had an inkling that Light wasn't telling him everything, and he always followed his instincts. "You are keeping something from me." He said, "And until you tell me, I am afraid that I can't trust you."

The detective's words stung him. "What are you going to do with me then?" The ding of the elevator's ascend as they passed each story was maddening. They were nearing the main floor.

"I am going to keep you beside me until you decide that you wish to return to being a part of this investigation. You are also not considered part of the force anymore. Your suggestions are still welcome, but you have no rights as a force member."

Before Light even had time to react, they had reached the main level. When the doors slid open, Ryuk was revealed hovering in front of them. "You'll be reunited with the Death Note sooner than you think, Light," He cackled.

Light glanced at Ryuk briefly before walking right through the Shinigami, his strides being led by L.

"It's been cleaned of all fingerprints and I've told Misa everything as well," he continued, now following the two of them. "But I don't want you to get the wrong idea about all these favors I'm doing for you. I'm still on neither your side nor L's. I just don't think it would be very entertaining if you were caught now." He grinned wickedly. "You owe me a lot of apples for this, though."

L led Light into the main room. "What do we know?" He asked the group in general, moving to sit at his computer. The short length of the handcuffs was starting to annoy him. After this was over, he'd get Watari to bring them another long chain.

"Mogi and Aizawa are at the scene now," Watari informed him. "Kyosuke Higuchi was found in his home. There was no sign of a break-in, so we suspect it was a heart attack that killed him. They are searching the house now for evidence."

"Light, are you alright?" Light's father approached the two of them.

"I'm fine, dad."

Yagami-san glared at the back of L's head, but said nothing.

"What's going on?" Misa hurried down the stairs and was quickly at Light's side, glancing up momentarily at Ryuk.

L couldn't help the slight glare that he sent Misa before he looked back at his controls. "Do we have a video feed?" he asked Watari.

At the same time, Matsuda was looking around, feeling quite useless. "Can I do anything?" He asked in a squeak of a voice.

"You can get me a cake and some tea." L ordered.

Huffing a little, the young male exited the room in the general direction of the kitchen.

After hitting a few keys, Watari initiated the live video feed on the enormous screen before them. It appeared that Mogi was searching the study of Higuchi's home. On the second screen, Aizawa could be seen in the bedroom.

"Well, his house is clean…except for this." Aizawa looked up into the camera with a wry expression as he held up a zip-lock bag containing a few blond hairs.

Misa let out a small gasp next to Light, and she looked up at him expectantly. Light continued staring at the screen.

"There's one other thing…" Mogi began slowly. His tone was foreboding as he looked down at something out of sight. "A notebook," He flipped through the pages. "It's filled with names…just pages and pages of names, and--."

"Mogi," L asked, "What is the problem?" He wanted to know why he cut off so suddenly. He couldn't see anything wrong.

Matsuda returned then with the cakes and coffee. Unfortunately, he fell down, tripping over something and spilling the drinks everywhere.

"Matsuda…," Light's father grumbled, walking over to help the clumsy man.

"Dates and times…causes of death," Mogi mumbled to himself. He looked up in to the camera. "Ryuuzaki, I-I think this is serious," he stammered.

Aizawa was now in the study with Mogi. "Come on. We should get these back to the headquarters." He looked at the notebook and then at the camera with a grave expression. "We'll be there shortly, Ryuuzaki." The screen went black.

L turned to look at Matsuda, who was now fretting over the spilled liquid. "Matsuda, please go wait outside for the others. You too Yagami-san." L ordered. Matsuda nodded and left.

L turned to Light. "Is there anything else you think I should know?" he asked, still knowing that Light was holding something back.

"What are you talking about?" Misa butted in. "Are you trying to accuse my Light of something?" She was looking at L with wide eyes and a livid expression.

"Shut up, Misa. This has nothing to do with you," Light commanded harshly.

Whimpering, Misa withdrew from Light.

His cold eyes softened as Light turned to L. "I only know as much as you, L." He stroked the detective's hair kindly, careful to hide his ministrations from Misa just behind him. Inside, Light knew that this virtuous man would never side with Kira, let alone be his lover.

_He can't find out. _Light thought._ If he does, it's over between us. He wouldn't want to be with me. And I...I'd most likely be executed. I bet L would do it himself. He'd want to. He'd want to see me die. _Light felt his eyes sting painfully as tears began to form there. _But that's fine with me. I'd rather be dead than live without him. _He smiled silently as a tear rolled down his cheek. He was still stroking L's hair.

"Then why are you crying?" L's voice was soft, a small amount of emotion seeping through. Love. He turned to Misa. "Leave." He ordered. "Go back to your room. We'll keep you updated." He glared at her, daring her to object.

She frowned, "I don't take orders from-,"

"Leave, Misa." Light raised his voice into a commanding tone.

Staring at Light's back for a moment, bewildered, Misa turned to the stairs and ascended them to her room. Watari left the room as well; he knew L well enough to know when he needed privacy.

Wiping his face sheepishly, Light replied, "I'm just shocked at all this. That's all." He pulled up a chair and sat next to L, but did not look at him.

L shook his head before looking away. "Don't patronize me Light." He smiled bitterly, and coupled it with a bitter laugh. "You're hiding something, and I know that. I can see that. I know you well enough. So either tell me what it is you're hiding, or don't. But don't try and pretend to me." He didn't want to admit how much this hurt him.

"Please, L," Light's voice was shaking. "I'm sorry but don't ask me anymore. You'll hate me." He turned to the detective, grabbing his hand desperately. "I don't want you to hate me."

Laughing nervously, the silent Ryuk spoke up, "Light, what are you doing?"

"You don't want me to hate you, yet you refuse to be honest with me. You refuse to talk to me." He shook his head. "I hope you weren't intending on having any sort of a relationship with me. I'm not going to date anyone who refuses to be honest."

"You wouldn't date me if I told you the truth," mumbled Light.

"Oh, they're coming." Ryuk stated to no one in particular and he floated away and through the wall.

Mogi and Aizawa entered the room with the rest following behind them. Instinctively, Watari re-entered the room as well. "Ryuuzaki, you'd better take a look at this," Yagami-san approached the two of them, handing L the black notebook.

L took the note, and instantly noticed a floating figure behind Light. A white, tall figure, who stood, in a similar position to L himself. Frowning, he looked down at the book in his hands. He looked at the first pages. He read them, wondering if the others hadn't. "Have any of you read these?" The rules were in English, so he wasn't sure if the others could understand them. He completely ignored Light now.

The team did not answer L. They were all looking at the figure behind Light with looks of horror on their faces. Matsuda took a step back and fell over. "What the hell is that?"

Eyeing the others, Light leaned toward L and touched the notebook, pretending to be interested in it. Instantly he felt a presence behind him, and turned slightly to see a familiar Shinigami hovering behind him. Pretending, he gave out a small cry of shock and jerked backwards towards L, almost falling of his chair.

"What...What are you?" Yagami-san asked the creature.

L looked up at Light and then past him. "You are the Shinigami who owns the book." He said with conviction. "This is your book?" He asked. To which Rem bowed her head slightly. "I am Rem," she told him.

Nodding, L looked back down to the book. "Are all these rules accurate?" Rem didn't answer.

The others were recovering from the shock of seeing the Shinigami. Matsuda stood up, looking slightly embarrassed.

"Shinigami?" Light's father spoke. "A god of death? And a notebook that kills simply by writing down a person's name in it? This is all…so unbelievable."

Rem looked at Yagami-san and the others, but said nothing.

"Did you see that 13-day rule, Ryuuzaki?" Aizawa mentioned. "If this is all true, wouldn't it clear Misa and Light?"

"Yeah!" Matsuda was quick to reiterate, "Misa-Misa and Light were both in confinement for over 13 days and they're not dead. They must be innocent, right Ryuuzaki?" He eyed the Shinigami nervously.

"Hmmm." L said softly, "That is the only rule that clears them, and it is also written on the back..." He seemed doubtful of them. What he wanted to do was test the back rules by burning the book, however, that would be reckless endangerment. He flipped through the book, seemingly not disturbed by the form of the Shinigami. "I don't believe them... Rem, are all these rules accurate?" He repeated.

Light gave Rem a warning look, and she turned to L, shrugging slightly. "Hard to say, but I don't see why there would be a fake rule in any Death Note."

Light turned to L. "Why don't we worry about this when we've all gotten some rest?" It was past one in the morning. He raised his eyebrows insinuatingly at the detective and whispered, "I need to talk to you."

"I agree, we should all be able to think this out more effectively after we've slept." Yagami-san turned to the others, who nodded.

L waited until everyone was gone before turning to Light. "What is it?" he asked, feeling quite suspicious of the other male. Deep down, he knew what Light was, _who_ Light was, and he was ashamed of himself for still wanting him, for still wanting to be near him.

To love Kira.

He stared at Light, waiting for him to say the words that would ruin them.


	10. Chapter 10

"Can we…go up to our room to talk? I'm exhausted." Light looked down at the notebook still in L's hands before standing up and stretching slightly; it was a little difficult with the short handcuffs.

Rem floated away and out of sight, after throwing a cautionary glance at Light.

L noticed the look Rem was giving Light, but didn't say anything. Instead he merely stood and led the two of them upstairs to their bedroom. Light watched him intently the whole way, only one thing on his mind. His desperation for L, and the threat of losing him should Light's guilt be found out, was making him mad with lust.

If he could just have one night…oh, they'd been so close before. If Light could just have one night with L…just one night before it all ended….

They were now in the bedroom. L closed the door and turned to Light, looking at him expectantly. "Well...? What is it you have to say, Light?"

Pushing L roughly against the wall, Light dominated the man's mouth with his own, kissing him hard. Light's cheeks were red with heat, partly from arousal, and partly from the shame that he felt at who he was and what L would think of him. He brought his lips down to L's neck, kissing it lightly before wrapping his arms around him in a close embrace and burying his face in the man's neck.

L moaned softly, taking in the feeling before pushing Light off him. "L-Light... I can't..." He said quietly. He still had doubts about Light, about who he was. Now more than ever it seemed that Light was likely to be Kira. And L couldn't let himself fall further for the male.

His hands were pressed against Light's chest, and his face was flushed. He was looking up at Light. He was just stooped there. He wanted to carry on, but he also didn't. He didn't want to get in too deep.

Light took L's hands in his own, removing them from his chest. He looked down briefly at the Death Note that had fallen out of L's hands when he had pushed him, and then back up at L. "Please L," he pleaded, leading the detective to the bed and laying him down. "Just let me have this one night." He pressed his lips to L's again, softly, showing L that he could be gentle. That he was not a monster.

L gave into the kiss for a second before pushing Light gently away, shaking his head. He couldn't until he was sure. "Light..." He said quietly, "I can't." He said it this time with more confidence. "Not until I know for sure." He sat up slowly, carefully, his hands still clasping Light's. He looked directly into his eyes, now that they were sat side by side. "My suspicion of you has done nothing but increase today." He shook his head. "I can't fall any further for you until I know for sure."

Light looked away, his heart sinking. He grasped L's hands tighter. "What would you do…if I were Kira?"

"Is that a confession?" L asked quietly, his voice soft. His eyes shone with love, and sorrow. He looked down at their hands before looking back up at Light. "I don't know." He answered honestly. "I would demand you give up the note book, in front of the Task Force. Give up all your memories..."

As much as he loved L at that moment, Light could not comply with his words. He was whispering now, terrified that Rem might appear in the room and hear his confession. "I-I can't do that, L." He looked up and almost cried out at the site of Ryuk staring across the room at him, and then floating away again.

L's heart froze and his eyes went wider. He dropped Light's hands and tried to back away. It _was_ a confession... And L's natural reaction was fear, fear and betrayal. He shook his head as he continued to try and back away, stopped only by the cuffs that were on his wrist. Briefly, he glanced at them before back at Light. It felt like his whole world was crumbling around him. The one person, the one person he'd ever fallen for, was a mass murderer. An evil man who wanted nothing more than to kill.

His whole body was trembling now, and he couldn't take his eyes off Light. "I-I was right?" He asked, his voice quivering, just like the rest of his body. "You- You are Kira....?"

He knew it would only be a matter of seconds until Watari came into the room, complete with another set of handcuffs.

His heart pounding wildly in his chest, Light looked up at L with absolute misery in his eyes. For the first time in his life, he was ashamed of who he was. He loved L more than he could stand, but he could not shed this part of him, the part that wanted to bring justice upon the filth of the world. He was not a killer. He was a good Samaritan, who would eventually eliminate all crime in the world, and bring peace to everyone in it. He had to make L see this.

"You think I'm a killer, don't you?"

"You killed thousands of people!" L exclaimed, still obviously terrified. His wide eyes never left Light's. "You murdered them, without a trial, without proof. Just on the word of the media... You _are_ a killer. You're a murderer. A mass-murderer!"

Swiftly, Light pinned L down onto the bed, clamping a hand over his mouth. "Please be quiet, L. You don't know how much danger you're in right now. And not from me." He glanced around the room once, making sure Rem was not there. Gazing down at the detective sorrowfully, he removed his hand from his mouth.

L's eyes were even wider than before. His heart was beating far faster than it should. His limbs were paralyzed with fear, and even the adrenalin that was running through his system at that moment wasn't enough for him to force Light off him. He was trembling, tears leaking from the corners of his large, wide eyes. He couldn't speak even if he wanted to at that point.

At the sight of L's reaction, Light leaned down and kissed him soothingly on the mouth. He ran the fingers of his free hand through the thick hair on the nape of L's neck, and slowly flattened his body against the others, his cock growing hard against the warmth of L's body. "You're not afraid of me, are you, L?" Light whispered, his brow furrowed. "You shouldn't be."

L was unresponsive to the kiss, his body completely frozen. When Light moved closer, flattening his body against his, he flinched. His eyes didn't leave Light. "G-Get o-off m-me..." He managed to stutter out, becoming too afraid to do pretty much anything. He brought two shaking hands up to push at Light weakly.

Slightly frightened by this reaction, Light obeyed silently. He moved off of L and sat down on the bed in front of him, staring at the detective hesitantly. "Are you okay?"

At that moment, a knock came at the door. Eyes widening in shock, Light looked at L and shook his head, mouthing the word, "Don't."

L stayed completely still, having sat up to keep his eyes on Light. When the knock came, he wanted to yell out, to call for help, but he found his mouth wouldn't co-operate. He wanted to yell, to scream, to get the hell out of there.

But he couldn't. He was frozen still. He reached into his pocket, slowly, and pulled out the key to the handcuffs. He then undid their bindings and shuffled as far away from Light as he could.

"What do you want?" He asked quietly, knowing that the words wouldn't drift to the other side of the room, nor through the door.

"Just don't…say anything about this." Light looked at him pleadingly. "You can't just go telling everyone yet. We need to talk about this. You know that."

Nodding, L swallowed thickly. He was pressed against the wall, as far away from Light as he could get. "You're not walking free." He promised, "I'll see to it that you're sentenced for this." He stood, moving around Light in a circle like a lion stalking an enemy. His voice was gaining some more confidence now. He got to the door and opened it, bending down to pick up the Death Note. He stood back up and looked at Watari and smiled slightly. "It was a false alarm. Please take this with you." He handed the black notebook to Watari before closing the door. He then turned back to Light.

"You wanted to talk. Talk."

"You're going to sentence me, L? Just like that?" Light's tone was worried now. He couldn't let this happen. If he was going to take control of the situation, he'd have to act like Kira. "I _am_ Kira, you know," he said defiantly. He took a step closer to L, threateningly. "Do you know how much power I have? I don't even need the Death Note." He was now inches from L's face.

L flinched and took a step back, taking a shaking breath. He was still trembling, but he looked at Light defiantly. "You have need of two things, _Kira_." He practically snarled the last word. "You need a face. And yes, you know what I look like. But you also need a name." He swallowed, hoping this would work. "You have no power over me, without a name. I am free of your games, Kira."

Light smirked, the true Kira now taking over him. "Didn't you hear me, _L_?" He accentuated the name menacingly. "I don't need the Death Note to kill. And I can get your name easily."

The room seemed to darken, and the two Shinigami were suddenly hovering there. Ryuk was in the corner, watching silently, and Rem was directly behind Light, her Death Note poised in her claws.

Light turned around, his smirk fading into a look of horror as he realized what was happening. "Wait, Rem!" He tried to grab the notebook from the Shinigami, but his hand went directly through it, causing him to stumble across the room.

Fear was in L's eyes as he looked at the Note in the Shinigami's paws. He was unsure of what was happening, but he could guess. He stood by the door, his limbs frozen and his breathing rapid. How had things gone so badly so quickly?

Would Light really kill him? L knew only one thing for sure. He wasn't going to beg for his life, there was no way he was going to degrade himself to that level.

Even with Rem's monotonous voice, Light could tell that she was angry. "Light Yagami, you have revealed yourself and therefore revealed Misa as well. I cannot allow him to live."

Light felt as though his heart had stopped beating, his breath caught in his chest as he stared back at the Shinigami. He almost glanced at L, but caught himself. He couldn't look at the betrayed look on the face of the man he loved.

"Wait, isn't there something else we can do?" Light was starting to regain the authority in his tone. He had to reason with Rem.

"Are you bargaining for L's life?" Ryuk cackled. He found this all very amusing.

Ignoring him, Light addressed Rem, "Misa can't be happy with me, Rem."

L was frowning, looking between the two, bewildered and slightly afraid. He swallowed and decided to keep his thoughts to himself, watching the exchange happening in front of him. He knew full well that this was a life and death situation for himself, and possibly even Light.

He kept his back close to the door, in the unlikely event that leaving the room could actually help.

"L is going to turn you in, along with Misa. This is the only way."

Finally, Light looked at L and his heart sank at the look on his face. "Please, let Misa go. Have her memories erased. It's the only way out of this. I-I can't lose you."

"Why would you care for me?" L asked Light, a stony look on his face. "You're Kira. Isn't it your _goal_ for me to be killed? You spent a long time trying to kill me. So why are you trying to convince me you want to spare me now?" His mind was telling him to stop, screaming at him to shut up, but he couldn't stop the words. "You wish for me to let a mass murder go, on the word that I will be spared?"

Light approached L cautiously, eyeing Rem as he did so. "I may be Kira, but I've changed. _You _changed me, L. You made me fall in love with you. You made _Kira _fall in love with you." He was now standing in front of the detective. "Yes, I wanted to kill you, but that was before I knew you. You're important to me now."

L's heart fluttered at that, but he ignored it. He glared at Light and shook his head. "And what? You think because I've _changed_ you it's less of a crime? Because you _love _me, I won't blame you for all those deaths? You know you killed someone I cared about." He shook his head. "If the alternatives are giving up what I believe in and dying, then you might as well kill me now. Because you need to know I'll never, _never_ forgive you for those deaths." He wanted to say that he'd never love Light. But that would've been a lie.

"I'm not asking you to forgive me." Light was truly surrendering now. There was no other way. The Death Note or L's life…? Light shuddered. He couldn't bear the thought of L being dead, not now. _He's won. L has won be doing absolutely nothing at all. I fell in love with him, and for that, I have lost._

"By all means, sentence me to death. Execute me yourself." He got down on his knees before L and looked up at him. "Just let Misa go. Rem loves her and she won't allow anything to happen to her. That's why she wants to kill you."

The two Shinigami watched Light cautiously, but remained silent.

"Let Misa go, so that your life is spared. Then…you can figure out what you want to do with me."

"You do not love Misa, do you, Light Yagami?" Rem asked him.

"No, I don't." Light stared at the floor. "Tell her. Tell her so that she can leave this place. Have her forfeit ownership so that she can lead a normal life. Isn't that what you want for her?"

Rem looked up at L expectantly. Not even Ryuk was laughing at this point.

L was looking down at Light, not paying much attention to the Shinigami. He stared at him for a moment before looking up at Rem. "Will you take the message to her?" He asked quietly, looking at the Shinigami female.

"Yes." Without another word, Rem put away her Death Note, and floated away through the wall.

"I want to see how she's going take this," laughed Ryuk, and he followed Rem out of the room.

Light remained on the floor, his head bowed down. He didn't know what to say now. He was exhausted, all his energy spent on trying to save L's life. He'd almost forgotten that the man still stood right in front of him.

L looked down at Light. "And you." He said. "You are to give up ownership of the death note. And I know you still have one. Your memories are to be erased. But first, you are to explain to the rest of the Task Force who you are. I can claim that the note book caused you to do things you wouldn't normally, and get you off on temporary insanity. If you don't do these things, then I will be forced to charge you with mass murder, and you will be killed."

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Sorry for the horrible cliffhanger. :) It's a bad habit of mine. I'm going to be out of town for the next few days so I may not get a chance to update. Gomenasai! Ittekimasu!


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's Note:**

**ATTENTION UNDERAGE READERS! This chapter contains extremely mature content. It's basically the reason this story is rated M.  
If you are underage and/or do not have a strong stomach, I advice you to not read this.**

That aside, thanks to everyone who's continued reading. I am back from my vacation and ready to upload more chapters should you so desire.  
Please review and let me know what you think! :D  


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"You are to give up ownership of the death note and your memories are to be erased. But first, you are to explain to the rest of the Task Force who you are. If you do not do these things, then I will be forced to charge you with mass murder, and you will be killed."

Light had barely heard the words before he found himself on his feet, looking L directly in the face. Any remaining fear he'd felt at losing the one he loved had vanished with the utterance of these commands. He was not about to be _ordered _around, especially by L.

"You _do_ realize that I just saved your life, don't you? And this is how you treat me? You know, L, I can call Rem back here and have her kill you, just like that." His words were less menacing now. But there was still enough malice in his voice to sound like a threat.

L paused before answering, his dark eyes boring into Light's, looking almost sad, before his face hardened. "You are a mass murderer, Light."

"Do you hate me so much?" Light's eyes softened as he slipped his arms around L's slender waist. "Do your feelings for me mean nothing?" Pressing his lips against the other man's chin, he slowly grazed them along his jaw line.

"Nng… Light, don't."

Light continued. "If so," he chuckled quietly and backed away from L, "then you really must be an emotionless person. That was my initial impression of you, that you were a man incapable of feeling who could never love anyone. But then you proved me wrong, by loving me." Light looked at L sadly. "But now… well, I guess first impressions _are_ always correct, aren't they? You thought I was Kira. I am. I thought you were a heartless bastard. And you are… if you're willing to take away my memories from me or kill me without a moment's hesitation."

L slumped slightly against the wall as Light removed his hands from his waist, to take a seat on the bed. "I really misjudged you," Light sighed, burying his face in his hands.

"You are a danger." L said, keeping his voice strong. "I may love you but that doesn't change the fact that you're a murderer, a monster." He shook his head, staying where he was. There was a hard look on his face, made from betrayal, sorrow and anger. "I'm not heartless. I just have a strong sense of self preservation." He glared at Light. "Now, what is your decision? Will you come willingly or must I use force?"

"A monster, huh?" Light muttered thoughtfully. He lay back on the bed, somehow feeling relaxed. Why did he feel as if he had won? Was it L admitting that he still loved him that made him feel this way? "And I have no decision to make, L. The decision is yours." He replied to the ceiling, rather nonchalantly, "Either kill me, or don't." His tone was calm, but inside, he was trembling. Would L really kill him? He'd spared the man's life, after all.

L felt his heart sink, he felt like his whole world was falling apart. "So that's it then?" He asked, "You refuse to give up your memories and the notebook?" he asked, his voice trembling ever so slightly. But he kept a hold of the anger. Anger was good. Anger didn't hurt as much. "I can save you if you give up your memories, but refusing will only get you sentenced." Those last words were spoken quietly.

He knew that there could never be a hope of a relationship with Light. Not now he knew he was Kira, not now that there was no doubt in his mind. And that hurt him.

"Let me ask you something, L." Light sat up on the bed and began taking off his shirt. He stretched dramatically, flexing slightly, before throwing it to the floor. "What do you think I'll be like without my memories of the Death Note? Do you think I'll be the same person?" Next he went to his pants, unbuttoning them and slowly sliding them down off his hips, revealing a thin pair of boxers. "It won't be like before, you know." Untucking the sheets from the edge of the bed, he got underneath them and leaned against the headboard, his hands behind his head, and looked at L expectantly. "Are you going to stand there all night?" The bedside alarm clock read 2:30 in the morning.

To say L was confused was an understatement. "I believe you would return to the way you were when we first became chained to each other – when I first fell for you." He was telling the truth, he didn't love Light before they'd been chained together; in fact, he'd seemed like a totally different person.

"No. You're not Yagami Light. You're Kira." He shook his head, "You're not the same person. I could never love Kira." He stayed exactly where he was.

Sighing, Light held out his hand, "Come over here, L." It was not a command, simply a request.

Taking as much of a step back as he could, L shook his head, his back against the door. There was no way he was going over there, no way in hell he'd let that... _thing_ touch him.

Light frowned slightly and cocked his head. "Come on, you're being ridiculous. Get over here." He was commanding it now.

"No." L said defiantly, pushing himself closer to the door. He knew that he shouldn't be afraid, this was Light. And if something happened to L, he'd be arrested. And he knew it.

So why was his heart pumping so fast, and his instincts telling him to run?

"Do you think I'm going to hurt you?" Still frowning, Light stood up off the bed, revealing his half-naked body to L. Slowly he approached the frightened detective and grabbed him by the hand. "I won't allow you to stand there all night, when you can sleep comfortably in a bed… with me."

He led L back to the bed and laid him down on it once again.

L's hand was sweaty, trembling. He wanted to resist Light's movements, but his body just followed the other and lay down when he was pushed. He was frozen, terrified. Somehow, he knew what was going to happen. "Don't..." He said weakly.

"Don't _what_?" Light whispered in his ear. He sat L up against the headboard and took off the man's shirt, sighing slightly as he gazed at L's naked chest. His skin was pale white, but smooth, and it looked to Light, untouched. "Oh, L…you're so beautiful."

Bending down, he kissed L's navel, working his way up, feeling every inch of the man's chest with the tips of his fingers in search of all the sensitive spots. With his other hand, he began to unbutton L's jeans. Light smirked, still showering kisses all over his chest. "This feels familiar, doesn't it?"

Trembling, L's breath started to shudder. He tried feebly to pull away from Light, away from those lips, that hand. When he reached for his pants, he whimpered slightly. "Don't..." He repeated. His voice was trembling, shaking with fear.

Shaking hands reached forwards to try and stop him. "G-Get off me..."

"Don't try to fight me, L." Light laughed quietly. "You won't win." He felt his Kira side starting take over again. He wanted to dominate L, to make him moan his name in ecstasy. Brushing L's hand away gently, Light continued to unbutton the jeans. He brought them down past L's hips, and let a small moan escape him as he ran his hands over the small curves of the man's waist.

Light pulled the jeans off completely in one quick motion, throwing them across the room. Grabbing L by the shoulders, he forcefully pushed his body down flat onto the bed. His erection now clearly defined through his boxers, Light pressed his body against L's.

L closed his eyes tightly, trying to convince his body that this _didn't _feel good, but his whole body was on fire. He whimpered again and tried to push Light away again. "Please...." He wasn't ashamed of the tears that were falling, of the sobs that were building. As far as he was concerned, he was entitled. "K-Kira... Get off...."

"Don't. Call. Me. Kira." Light commanded. Then his eyes widened in shock as he stared at his hand. It was wrapped around L's throat, squeezing slightly. Instantly, he released the gasping man. "I'm sorry," he said quietly. Noticing the tears streaming down L's face, he wiped them away soothingly and pressed his lips to the others. "Don't cry, L," he cooed. "I love you." His hand reached down to L's waist again, this time, slipping inside of the man's boxers. Happily, he found a slight erection, and squeezed it gently.

L took in a breath before whimpering again. He tried to get away from Light, but he was quickly realizing that it was a futile battle. When Light had kissed him, he'd relaxed slightly, but as soon as he felt that alien hand on his groin, his whole body stiffened- unfortunately, that meant he became harder. He wanted to kick Light away but he couldn't. Part of him didn't want to. He wanted to be with Light, but he didn't want to be with Kira.

He could feel something inside him break and a sob let free. "Please stop." His hands were uselessly pushing at Light. He was afraid; he had no strength left in his arms.

"You don't want me to stop. It feels good, doesn't it?" Light looked down at L, now pumping his cock slowly. He felt the precum on the tip of the member, a surefire sign that the man liked what Light was doing.

Moaning a little, L shook his head. "No... No please stop!" Tears were falling from his eyes and his body was shuddering. He felt bile rise in his throat and he tried to push Light away. No. Not Light. Kira. "Please." Sobbing now, he was trying to get Light away.

Looming above the detective, Light ripped away the remaining garments covering his own and L's body, exposing L completely to him. He straddled the other, one hand planted firmly on L's chest pinning him to the bed, as he began to stroke his own prominent member. The site of L writhing beneath him, struggling in his grasp was almost enough to send Light over the edge. He moaned deeply at his own touch coupled with the site before him, his eyes rolling slightly.

"L," Light breathed, "You _will_ come for me."

"N-No." L's voice was trembling as he sobbed, still trying to get away. He managed to get Light's hand off his chest and roll off the bed. Reaching down, he picked up his trousers and ran to the door, pulling them on as he went.

"Stay the fuck away from me, Kira." L said, still trembling. Tears were still falling down his face and he was still sobbing. "I will not allow you to rape me."

Light was quickly behind L, reaching the door just as he did. He pushed L up against the door, preventing it from being opened. "I thought you _loved _me. I am still Light Yagami. I am still the one you love. I'm not going to hurt you." He reached down and squeezed the cheek of L's ass, fondling the space between his thighs. "You will enjoy it, I promise." Light's voice was much kinder now. "Now, would you like to do it here at the door, or back on the soft surface of the bed?

"No." L said, hyperventilating. "You- you are not Light. You're a monster. And even if you were Light, I wouldn't want this. Not now." He was still trembling, but he was trying to get away. His member had throbbed as Light- Kira had touched his ass. His trousers were up, but undone. He had his back to Light, so he couldn't push him away, but that didn't mean he wouldn't try. He attempted to get away, moving sideways.

Grabbing L's hips with both hands, Light held the man firmly in place, preventing him from moving anywhere. He breathed heavily in L's ear, taking care to accentuate his voice in just the right spots, making it sound seductive. "What do you mean, _not now_? Why, I can't think of a better time than now, L." He put his hand on L's ass once more, this time slipping it inside of the man's jeans. Being as they were already loose on L's hips, they slumped to the floor around his ankles.

"Think of it this way," He continued, "You are prepared to have me executed this very second, aren't you?" He didn't wait for L's answer as he ran his finger between the cheeks of L's ass, smirking when L's body shuddered slightly. "That being said, we may never get another chance to do this. And you know how much you've wanted this, L. Just as I have." Light ran his finger over L's entrance.

"N-Not like this..." L was trying to get away, "L-Let go of me..." He begged, his voice being drowned out by his sobs. He tried again to pull away, to get out of Light's hands, to remove himself from Kira's grasp. But eventually, his trembling knees just gave way. Now he was completely at Light's mercy. "Please..."

"Good L." Light grinned menacingly and led L back to the bed. "I'm doing this for you, you know. It will be much less painful on the bed." He laid L down on his back; he wanted to see the expressions on L's face from what he was about to do.

Light's cock was still firm as he took it in his hand. He had no access to lubricant, so he fingered the tip of his own member, spreading the precum along the full length of it. "Spread your legs, L, or I will force you to," Light commanded, the fingers on his free hand now pushing themselves slightly into L.

L just lay there, limp, tears flowing from his eyes. He didn't make any more moves to push Light away, but nor did he move to follow his command. He was forcing his mind to retreat, to go somewhere where he didn't have to deal with this, where it wasn't happening. A fantasy world, that he could create, and everything could be fine.

"Don't look so forlorn," Light moaned. He had to admit, the sight was definitely heightening his already peaking arousal. He could hardly help himself as he began stroking his own cock faster, while gazing at L's limp form beneath him. His other hand now had several fingers buried deep inside of L, thrusting in and out in time with the motions of his other hand. Light's arousal was becoming more than he could stand. He needed to be inside L, to feel the tight warmth of L's ass around his cock.

L was only reacting to the pain by grimacing. His body was completely lax, and the tears were falling, creating a puddle under his head on his pillow. He swallowed thickly, trying to keep his mind in that fantasy world. He hissed slightly as Light's fingers brushed against a sensitive bundle of nerves, causing his cock to twitch and his eyes to close. He sucked up a breath before trying to force himself back into that world.

"You like that, don't you?" L's reaction was it. Light was too close to orgasm to let the foreplay continue any longer. "This will hurt for a moment, L," he warned, barely managing to utter the words before withdrawing his fingers from him, spreading L's legs, and burying his cock inside the heat of L's ass. Crying out in spite of himself, Light grasped L's hand with his own, entangling his other hand in the detective's mess of dark hair.

L found himself whimpering, crying out when Light entered him. So this was what it felt like to have sex? He wished it was under better circumstances. He let his body relax, waiting for it to just be over. When it was over, he'd crawl in a corner and die. This had to be the most frightening experience L had ever been through, and it was by the hands of someone who called himself his friend.

"Come for me, L." Light commanded, his voice coming out in short gasps as he thrust harder into him. He knew he was nearing the edge, and he wanted L to be there with him. He began stroking L's cock, helping him along.

L closed his eyes, trying so hard to hold back what he knew was coming. He tried holding his breath, but the muscle under Light's hand was starting to throb, to pulse, getting ready. He was close, but he didn't want to go over the edge, not for Kira.

"Yes, L," Light sighed, moaning quietly, feeling the muscle in L's ass squeeze tighter around his cock. He knew L was going to orgasm, but he wanted to hear it. "Speak to me." Light bent down to L's chest, causing his own member to thrust even deeper into L, and he let out a louder moan. "I want to hear you."

Panting now, L wasn't able to hold back the impending orgasm. His member squirted out the white sticky liquid of his loins. But he didn't cry out. He didn't make a sound other than a hitched breath. It wasn't a good orgasm, but it was an orgasm none the less. He lay there panting, staring up at Light. Tears were still falling, but he wasn't sobbing anymore. He was dead to the world.

Light had orgasmed at nearly the same moment as L. Feeling the tightening of L's ass around his own member had sent him over the edge. His eyelids fluttering, Light came hard into him, letting out a muffled moan.

He collapsed onto L, wiping the tears from his face. "Thank you, L," Light panted into the crook of the man's neck.

Still shivering, L pushed Light off him. He stood, grabbed his clothes and turned to look at Light. "Congratulations, _Kira_," He said that word with such distain; he was surprised the other didn't just drop dead there. "You have just added rape to your list of crimes." And with that, he went into the bathroom, wanting nothing more than to just shower. Clean everything off him, out of him.

Light had turned his head slightly to watch L go, not even flinching at the man's words, and then lay back on the bed. He found the two Shinigami hovering above him, staring at him intently.

"What are you going to do now, Light?" Ryuk cackled.

Light smiled slightly and closed his eyes. "Just watch, Ryuk. L _will _love me in time."

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**OO **

**Poor L. Even I feel bad. XD  
**


	12. Chapter 12

**Hello, and yes, I am well aware that I haven't updated in over a year. I apologize! Things have failed between my writing partner for this story as she no longer wishes to pursue Death Note fanfic writing. However, I have much more of the story to upload, so I will continue now to do so! Thanks for reading.**

* * *

"So, Rem," Light opened his eyes to give the female Shinigami a threatening look. All previous fear of her had gone. "I trust Misa was taken care of."

"Yes. She will be leaving in the morning." Rem floated a bit closer to Light, and he caught a slight gleam in her eyes. "And L will tell the others not to pursue her? That she is cleared?"

"Yes."

They stared at each other for a moment. Death god and human. Any bystander who looked at the two of them would easily be able to tell who the one in control was. Then Light asked, "How did she take it, by the way?" Not that he cared or was genuinely curious. The young man was simply making small talk with the Shinigami, preventing his thoughts from straying to places he didn't want to go at the moment.

"She was upset and would not listen to me at first. But she realized that she would rather not kill people for you anymore. Misa gave up ownership of the Death Note and she will be returning to live with her parents, and to lead a normal life." She handed the notebook to Light, who slid it under his pillow. A weak hiding place, but it was fine for now. He wouldn't need to hide anything from L soon.

As L entered his thoughts, Light realized that it was far time he joined his lover. Ignoring the two Shinigami, he stood up and crossed the room to the bathroom. He cracked the door open slightly, and smiled sweetly as the damp steam from the shower made contact with his skin.

L had cleaned himself, multiple times, scrubbing until he was raw. There was now not a single speck of dust on or in him. He was now curled up in his normal way, in the corner of the shower. He was sobbing, holding himself close. Tears were cascading down his face, and he was shuddering and shaking. Weakly, one of his hands was still rubbing soap against his skin.

His hair was plastered to his face, and he didn't look up when the door opened – he didn't hear it. The sound of the shower and his own sobs were filling the air with too much sound.

As Light stepped into the bathroom and closed the door, blocking out all other sounds than those of the room he was in now, he heard the echo of L's sobbing. Instantly, remorse overtook his mind. All thoughts of the Death Note left him as he pulled back the shower curtain, finding L crouched in the corner in a mess of tears.

Light wanted to reach out and comfort the man, to hold him in his arms until the sobs that shook his body ceased, but he was afraid L would push him away. Lash out at him. No, he _knew _L's reaction would be similar to that.

Finally seeing Light, L whimpered and tried to push himself further into the corner. He looked up at Light, trying to hide the fear that was on his face. His trembling body jerked slightly as he fell, losing balance. He pressed himself as close to the wall as he could get, his legs up by his chest, trying to hide what little privacy he had left. "What do you want now?" He asked through the tears.

At the sight of L and the tears in his eyes, Light's vision blurred as his own tears began to surface. _What is happening to me? _Light thought. He felt as if he was battling two personalities: The one that wanted to comfort L, to show him love, and the one that wanted to rape and control him.

"Can I…talk to you?" Light bit his lip, trying to hold back the sobs he felt in his chest.

"I can't stop you." L pointed out still trying to stay away. "But if you come closer to me, I'm going to hit you. I'll hit you, I'll bite you, I'll scream, I'll do everything and anything to make it un-enjoyable." He promised, forcing his voice to be steady.

Gasping slightly, Light replied, "I won't touch you, but I'm going to come into the shower." He looked down at the puddle of water from the shower forming at his feet. "I need to clean myself off, anyway."

He stepped into the shower, grateful that Watari had provided them with a room that contained such a large shower. He didn't want to be too close to L now, to cause the man any more grief. He stood on the opposite side and began to lather down his chest with suds. "I have to tell you something, L. And I'm sure you'll be able to understand, seeing as how you know I have two identities."

L's eyes stayed on Light, as if weary that he was going to attack him again. He stayed closer to the wall, pushing himself into it. "Just tell me." L said quietly. His tears had stopped, but only because he was afraid, completely terrified. He didn't want to be close to Light right now.

"I'm very…" he paused, searching for the right word, "confused." He put the soap down and stood there, letting the water soak away his shame. "Sometimes I just feel so angry." He gritted his teeth, accentuating the force of his words. "And I think about killing you…like the way I felt before I really knew you. And then I remember things like…holding your hand," he smiled and closed his eyes, "the sound of your voice when you laugh, and the way you used to look at me…which such love…" He trailed off, his mind in other worlds.

"In short," Light looked down at L and chuckled slightly, "I feel like a schizophrenic."

"That's very nice, but it doesn't change what you did." L said, glaring at Light. "You hurt me." He said quietly, "You _raped_ me. I demanded you to stop and you didn't." He was still trying to keep away from the other. He started to sob again, "You _raped_ me!"

"I can't control myself!" Light cried, feeling his tears coming down in rivulets. "Thinking back on it, I can't even believe I did that. It was Kira, not me. You have to believe me, L. I would never intentionally hurt you." He took a step toward L to comfort him, but then backed away, deciding against it.

"Then give up the note!" He countered, "Get rid of Kira!" He shook his head, "I can't believe you otherwise. How do I know this isn't some kind of _trick_ to stop me from pressing charges?" He shook his head, pressing himself further into the wall. He was bruising, and he knew it. "Please, just leave me alone."

"I will _not_ give up the notebook!" Light growled, lunging forward at L, grabbing his wrists and pinning them to his sides. He sat like that for a moment, glaring into L's eyes, before he finally stumbled backwards, retreating into the other corner of the shower.

Light sobbed, letting his head fall into his hands. "I-I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry for hurting you, L. I should see a shrink or something. And purge this monster from me."

"I've told you to what to do." L said quietly, rubbing his wrists. He was curled into the corner furthest from Light. "If you don't give up the book, nothing will change..." He said quietly, still keeping his eyes on Light.

He was trying hard stay calm, to stop crying, to stop trembling.

He could tell that Light was more likely to attack him again than he thought... then why was he still here? Why hadn't he left rather than going for a shower? Why hadn't he gone out the door?

"Will you…give me a couple of days? Two days. That's all I'm asking for. If nothing changes, I will give up the notebook." Light was staring at the slick tile of the shower floor, keeping his eyes averted from L's.

"You aren't to come near me in those two days. You are to stay up here, in this room, locked in. Without a Death Note." L said sternly, his voice shaking a little again.

He tried to sit up, but grimaced slightly with the pain in his ass. After a second, he managed to get up, and reached for the towel. He dried himself off, never taking his eyes off Light. He finished drying and put the towel around his hips. "I'm leaving. And I expect you to leave me alone."

Light looked up L sadly, but the tears had stopped. "Can I ask where you will be going?"

"I-," L shook his head, shaking again, "I don't know. Away." He shook his head. "Do you know how much you hurt me?" he asked quietly. "I trusted you... more than anyone else." He said quietly, "And then you did this to me..." He was crying again now, shaking so badly he fell to the ground.

"I was a virgin, Light." He admitted, trying so hard to stop sobbing, but failing.

This time, Light couldn't resist the urge to comfort the man. Turning off the shower, he then crawled over to where L had fallen, pulling him into a tight embrace. "I'm sorry," was all he could say as he combed a hand through L's hair.

L froze before squirming, not comfortable in Light's arms. He was trying to get away, but deep down, he needed the comfort. He'd just been raped for crying out loud, lost his virginity to a monster, had himself taken in more ways than he should have.

He finally managed to push Light off him, but he didn't move away from him. "Don't!" He cried, "Don't touch me!"

Much to his own surprise, Light obeyed the detective's wishes. "Okay," was all he said as he slowly got up and left the bathroom, grabbing a towel as he went.

After a short time, L moved to the bed, managing to hide himself under the blankets. He was shivering, but he was exhausted. Whether he liked it or not, he had orgasmed recently. In fact, it'd been his first releasing from sex. And he was exhausted.

But he wasn't sure if he could trust Light not to touch him while he slept.

After a moment, this didn't matter anymore, as he was fast asleep, curled around himself.


	13. Chapter 13

Light was in a warehouse. He couldn't make out the figures in front of him as his eyes adjusted to the darkness. He glanced around quickly, his eyes coming to rest on a crouched figure on the floor. _L? _No, this body was much smaller, perhaps a young boy? Before his mind could work it out, the crack of a gunshot resounded in his ears, and he woke to find himself sitting straight up in the bed, drenched in sweat and clutching the Death Note in his hands.

Panting slightly, he glanced at L, who appeared to still be asleep. Slipping the Death Note back under his pillow, Light got up and crossed the room to the window, drawing the curtains back slightly. The sky was tinted a soft orange. _It must be early morning, _he thought. Then his thoughts drifted back to the dream, or rather, nightmare. Why had he been in a warehouse? Who had fired that shot at him? More intriguing to Light however, was the form of the boy crouched on the floor. _Like L, _he thought. His naked body shivered slightly.

L continued to sleep, his mind running around in circles. He couldn't stop thinking about what had happened between himself and Light, but in his dreams... in his dreams Light was gentle, a kind and caring lover. Exactly how L had wanted it to be. In his dreams, there were gentle caresses, slow and powerful thrusts, strong and long orgasms. For both of them. Then there was the aftermath, lying in each other's arms, smiling, kissing softly, and basking in the afterglow. He moaned softly as he shifted in his sleep, his heart racing and his breathing increased.

Hearing a noise behind him, Light turned from the window to gaze at L. He returned to the bed and sat down to watch him. As a small moan escaped L, Light wondered what he could possibly be dreaming about after the horrifying events from the night before. In spite of himself, Light found his hand descending down his own chest to grasp his hardening erection. He moaned quietly and closed his eyes, letting his head fall back, enjoying the spasms of pleasure rippling through his body as he stroked himself.

L's hips buckled slightly in his sleep, as his mind repeated the dream, imagining Light being patient, loving. Not rough and needy as he was before. He moaned again, rolling onto his back. His erection was quite obvious in his loose clothing.

Feeling the bed shift as L moved, Light opened his eyes which immediately focused on the other man's bulging erection. "Oh…," Light breathed, tightening his grip on his own cock. There had to be some way to redeem himself to the one he loved. Was there any way to atone for what he did? Perhaps if he gave L pleasure in a different way…

Light slowly moved down the bed, careful not to wake the sleeping detective. He perched himself between L's legs and pulled down his loose pants, revealing L's neglected erection. Light's breathing became more rapid as his closed his eyes, slipping the length of L's cock into his mouth.

Moaning, L's hips buckled, pushing up into that warm cavern. He moaned again, his head turning from side to side. "Hmmnnnngggnnn Light..." L moaned, his eyes blinking open slightly. After a moment, he looked at Light and jumped slightly. "L-Light...?" The word was spoken in a soft moan and a bit of a squeak too. Like he'd wanted to protest, but was enjoying himself too much.

Had his dreams been real? No. That had definitely been a dream... But was this a dream?

"L-Light... what are you... doing...?" He asked through his moans.

"Helping you," Light replied, briefly pulling back from L before descending his mouth down on him once more. This time, he flicked his tongue out, running it along the length of him before taking him into his mouth again.

L's head leaned back and he moaned deeply. This was just like his dream, just like how he'd wanted it. But it hadn't been like this before. He couldn't help the memories from last time. He was getting afraid. His hands pressed against Light's shoulders, pushing him away. "S-Stop..." he said in a trembling voice.

"Are you sure?" Light asked. He released L, but did not move away.

L was obviously afraid as he looked at Light, he nodded, trembling and pulled away. "I-I don't want to be with you like that... not anymore..." He mumbled, looking away with a flushed face. "You- You hurt me... I can't..." He sat up, pulling himself away from Light, his legs rising to his chest. He sucked in a deep breath, trying to calm himself down.

"What is your fascination with doing that to me...?" He asked quietly. "Why didn't you stop before...?"

"I'm finding it a bit easier to control the other part of me…Kira." Light had said the last word with some hesitation. "Perhaps it's the thought of losing you I can't bear," he said quietly.

"You've already lost me." L said softly, shaking his head. "There's never going to be anything between us, not after that..." He shook his head.

Then a few moments later, he sighed, bowing his head. "L-Light... I..." he was trying hard not to sob. "I don't want you to be near me... I don't want you to touch me. You hurt me." He said quietly, "And I don't want you to hurt me again."

"Well," Light replied shakily, "then I suggest you leave now and begin the two days of my confinement to this room. Besides, I only want you more the longer you're near me. It would be better for both of us if you left." He reached down to the floor, finding his pants and slipping them on. As he sat on the edge of the bed, staring down at his feet, he sighed. "Goodbye, L."

"L-Light..." L said softly, "You didn't... you didn't let me finish." He said quietly, "I don't want you to hurt me, but I'm still drawn to you. I don't know why." He shook his head. "I want you to be with me, but when you're close to me, I feel afraid, like I'm in danger." He shook his head, "I'm confused."

Light looked back at L, startled, "You should be. I'm confused, too. How do you think it feels, wanting to give you pleasure, wanting to hold you, and then wanting to kill you the next? And then when those two urges combine…" he trailed off. "We already know what happens then."

L nodded. He was shaking. "I just want you to be you again." He said quietly, "When we were first chained together, until quite recently, you were Light Yagami. There was no Kira in you..." He looked up at Light. "I want that Light back." He mumbled, "I want the man I fell in love with, not the monster he became..."

Light shook his head. As much as he wanted to be with L, he could not let go of his initial goal. "I have a new purpose in life since I came into contact with the Death Note. My aim is to create a better world, free from crime. And I have the perfect tool to do it with." He looked up at the detective and edged a bit closer to him. "You could help me, L. I _can _control Kira. He won't hurt you anymore. I promise."

L flinched away slightly, his body shaking as more tears fell. "I love _Light_ not Kira. I don't even agree with what you're doing! You don't give trials; you don't give thought to the magnitude of your victims' crimes! What if someone's innocent, falsely convicted? What if you kill someone who'd just been in the wrong place and time!" He shook his head, "And even if they're not innocent, have you given thought to their loved ones? To the people who care about them..?" He shook his head, standing and moving towards the window. He sat on the window ledge and looked out over the city. "You killed someone I cared about." He said quietly.

Light considered all that L had said to him, and realized what was just said. "What are you talking about? Who?" He asked quietly.

"His name was B." L said quietly, looking out the window. "I grew up with him – he was like... he _was_ my brother. My younger brother. And you killed him." He shook his head, trying not to cry. "That's when I started to investigate the case. I wanted to kill you – to have you pay for your sins."

"B…" Light shook his head, trying to remember. "I'm sorry, L. I really am." He moved off of the bed and towards him, to lean against the wall next to the window. "What did he do?" _I must've killed him for a reason…._

"He..." L shook his head, "He was crazy... the pressures of our school sent him into insanity... He wanted to create an unsolvable case for me... He killed three people and tried to kill himself... Naomi Misora managed to save him but... He was supposed to get the death penalty. I managed to save him, get him life imprisonment in a mental institution instead..."

_Naomi Misora. _The name sent Light back to the past, where Kira and a Shinigami's maniacal cackle were always present. Light shivered. He had changed so much since then. He looked up at L then, and in response to what the detective had told him, he said, "Oh." What else was there to say?

"And then you killed him..." He said quietly... "You killed my little brother..." He looked to Light, "And you wonder why I won't agree with you, why I won't accept Kira." He let out a bitter laugh. "I could _never_ forgive you for that."

"I'm sorry," Light repeated, quieter this time.

Knocking softly first, Watari entered the bedroom with breakfast on a tray.

L, still naked, looked at him and nodded. He didn't say a word to Watari, nor did he make any moves to eat. He wasn't hungry, not at all. Things were too messed up for him to want to eat, too crazy for him to even think about food.

"Thank you, Watari," Light said for L. He couldn't stand the silence between the three of them.

Nodding, Watari said, "Misa has just left. Her parents picked her up."

Light nodded but did not make any other movements to indicate he'd even heard what was said.

"Is there anything I can get you, Ryuuzaki?" Watari asked as he placed the tray on a table.

L shook his head, looking back out of the window. He didn't even bother to dry the tears that had been falling from his eyes. He sighed softly but made no other sound. He was feeling quite depressed, alone... Hurt...

Watari nodded again and left the room. He knew what was wrong with Ryuuzaki. He would be speaking with him later.

Light moved to the tray. "You should eat something before you go down to work. There's cake." He tried to make his tone cheerful as he brought over a slice of cheesecake to L.

L glared at Light and refused to take the food. He looked at the other and laughed bitterly. "Don't. You either care, or you don't. But until you choose one, I can't trust you." He then looked out over the city again. "I could love Light, in fact, I do. But I will _never_ be able to love Kira. If you want anything to do with me, anything like that, you'll get rid of the book. If you don't, I'll have you locked away for life. Death is too good for Kira."

Light was picking at the cake with a fork, briefly considering eating it himself, and then he sighed, setting it down. "Why are you still here, L?"

"Because I'm hoping that you being around me will bring out the old Light." L replied quietly, "Will convince you to come back to me..." He knew that there was a chance that Light would regress into Kira and hurt him again, but he was willing to risk it.

"I'm still with you." Light moved a bit closer to the window, wanting to look into L's eyes. "And I'm still Light. You're the one who left me," he argued.

"Oh yes, I'm the one that _raped _you. I'm the one that refuses to stop being a _murderer_ for you. _I_ left _you_." L laughed bitterly and shook his head. He stood, grimacing at the pain in his ass. He moved to the closet and picked up some things to wear. He took some pants but dropped them in frustration. He turned around to Light. "I'm not asking you to give up your goal completely, just to change your ways about reaching it!" He looked at Light, turning around to face him completely. "I just don't want to be with a lover who kills people without looking into them completely – making sure that they haven't already been tried and judged!"

Light looked across the room at L incredulously. "I can do that," he said, shocked at his own words. "I only said I wouldn't give up the Death Note." He went to the closet where L stood, and picked up the pants that he'd dropped. "Will you be with me, then?" he asked, holding out the jeans. His want for the detective was nearly skyrocketing.

Taking the clothing angrily, L shook his head. "I want you to give up being Kira and join me as a second part of L." He looked into Light's eyes. "Don't you see what I'm asking? I'm asking you to get rid of the monster that killed the only family I had."

Heart sinking, Light shook his head. "I'm sorry but, I-I don't know. That's why I'm asking for these two days. I need to think about this." He was so close to the other now. He could hear L breathing shakily, in and out; it was almost hypnotic. He looked down at the others hand, the long delicate fingers, and gently reached out to curl his own around them.

"Are you going to keep me locked up here in the meantime?" Light asked softly.

L's breathing hitched slightly when Light took his hand. He wanted nothing more than to fall into those arms, and be held by Light. But he knew he couldn't. He couldn't risk being hurt again. So instead, he pulled his trousers on and stood back, away slightly, looking up at Light. "Yeah." He said quietly, "but I'm going to take the Death Note from under your pillow with me." He said. Yes. He knew that Light had hidden one there, he'd seen him put it down when he went to the bathroom.

He held out his hand. "And should I expect to see a Shinigami when I touch it?"

Without hesitation, Light retrieved the notebook from under his pillow. Before handing it to L, he looked around the room. Ryuk was hovering in one corner, grinning, as usual. "Yes, you will." He passed the notebook to the other.

L took the book and nodded. He grabbed a shirt and put it on before turning back to Light. After pausing for a second, as if trying to decide what to do, he leaned forward and gently kissed him before leaving and closing the door behind him. There was the faint sound of a lock and he made his way upstairs into Watari's room. Once there, he collapsed into a chair and buried his head into his hands, sobbing lightly. The notebook fell to the floor.

"What is it?" Watari turned around in his chair out the sound of L's sobs. "What's wrong, Lawliet?"

"He-," L started sobbing even worse. "He took me... I asked him to stop... But..." L was sobbing harder now, feeling comfortable enough to do so around Watari. "I- He did that to me... but I still... I still..." He couldn't finish his sentence due to the hard sobs that were wrecking his body.

Standing from his chair, Watari knelt down beside L, pulling him into a fatherly hug. He glanced down at the notebook on the floor. "He is Kira," he said quietly. It was not a question.

L nodded. "But I still love him..." He said quietly. "What do I do?" He'd stopped sobbing now, but he held onto Watari for dear life.

Patting his back gently, Watari replied, "Whatever you do, your heart will guide you. And whatever you decide, it may not necessarily work out in everyone's favor. But that does not mean it is the wrong decision." He pulled himself from L's embrace to look at the detective. "Let your instincts guide you, Lawliet. When have they ever steered you wrong?" The old man smiled softly and patted L's head.

Feeling much like a young child again, L wiped his eyes and sniffed. "I don't want to be hurt by him again, but at the same time I don't want to leave him. I don't know _what_ my instincts are telling me." He pulled his knees closer to his chest, wrapping his arms around them. He looked at Watari, his mentor, his father figure, and his lips trembled. "Tell me what to do..."


	14. Chapter 14

Light was in a sagging heap on the floor of the bedroom. He had fallen to his knees after L had left, the kiss bringing about such emotions in him; he hadn't even known he was capable of feeling in such a way. The tears were flowing from him now. He could hear nothing but the sobs and sharp intakes of breath coming from his body.

Ryuk still hovered darkly in the corner. "What, now, Light? It looks to me like you're pretty screwed." The Shinigami let out a quiet cackle.

Shakily, Light rose to his feet, clenching his fists, his grief turning to rage. "I don't know," he growled under his breath. After a short pause, he kicked the table across the room with force, sending the breakfast tray into the air, tea spilling all over the floor. Ryuk flinched away slightly, the table smashing into the wall next to him.

"I'm out of options, Ryuk." Light laughed fitfully, his eyes widening, tears still flowing. "I don't have a plan. I don't…have a plan…" Suddenly he looked around him, as if he'd just realized where he was. Senselessly, he ran to the window and ripped the curtains down. Temporarily blinded by sunlight, he staggered slightly, shielding his eyes with his hand. "Look. See those people down there?" Light wasn't sure who he was talking to now as he gazed down at the city streets. "They all deserve to die."

Laughing nervously, Ryuk floated towards the window. "Calm down. There's no reason to get so worked up over this." But he wasn't so sure.

Light's breath hitched, and he fell to his knees once more, the sobs coming in full force. "L…" His body shook as he buried his head in his hands, confusion and sorrow overtaking him, not even trying to stem the flow of tears now. "What do I do? Tell me what to do…"

"If you execute or even imprison Light for life, I fear you would regret it." Watari stood up and moved to the small kitchen area of his room and began busying himself with making tea.

"You think I should let him go?" L asked, his voice quiet, trembling as if he could hardly believe what he was hearing. "After all the people he killed? After all the deaths that were caused? You think he should go free?" He realized that he wanted to let Light off, but... he couldn't.

"He doesn't deserve to be free." He said quietly, "But I want him to be."

"No, he does not deserve to be free," Watari agreed, nodding as he took a small cake from the refrigerator. "And I do not think you should let him go, to wander the streets again murdering people left and right," he said gravely. He poured L some tea and brought a slice of the cake to the detective, forcing the plate and tea cup into his hands.

"However," Watari continued, sitting back down in his chair across from L, "you love him. Any action you take that results in Light feeling pain, whether it be physical or emotional, will also cause _you_ pain. I don't want to see that." He looked at L fondly. "A compromise must be met."

"What are you suggesting?" L asked, taking the food and drink. He looked at it, not feeling like eating it. He gently put it down on the table behind him, turning back to face Watari. He then picked up his tea again and started drinking it. Not as much sugar as he'd like, but he knew that Watari was trying to get him to cut down. He drank it without complaint.

"That is something that you and Light will have to figure out together, Lawliet. In the meantime, I suggest you keep him chained to you. Keeping him locked up in a room all alone will only worsen his tendencies, I fear." Watari looked at L sadly. "Please eat something. I know that you've been though a lot, but you shouldn't starve yourself."

Nodding, L took a few bites of his cake before sighing and putting the cake down. He sighed softly and stood. "Thank you Watari." He said softly before standing and moving towards the door. "I fear I will be needing you now more than ever..." He then left. He then moved back to his room, opening the door.

"L-Light." He said softly, standing by the door which he closed behind him. "I'm sorry I left..." he was a little afraid, being back in Light's presence.

Light was sitting on the floor by the window, the ripped curtains all around him on the floor. It appeared he'd been tearing them up even more after his violent episode. He didn't move or respond as L entered the room, didn't even hear his own name spoken.

"You messed him up pretty bad," cackled Ryuk, hovering above the bed as he devoured an apple.

L ignored Ryuk, moving to sit by Light. He was shaking slightly, but he looked at the other, feeling his heart breaking before he pulled him into a hug. "Light...?" He wasn't feeling quite as afraid as before, now that he could see that Light was human after all. He gently stroked his hair, making comforting noises.

As he turned his head to look at L, Light seemed to come to his senses. "L…," he breathed shakily. He frowned as he looked at the arms around him. "Why are you holding me?" Light felt the convulsions in his chest forming again.

"Because I love you, and you looked like you needed it." L admitted, still holding Light. "And I know that at least for the next few minutes, you won't hurt me." He said softly, "And I'm going to do what I can to make you alright." He was still stroking Light's hair, still smiling down at him.

Light shook his head, even as he began to cry, burying his face in L's chest, hugging him tightly. "I'm a monster…"

L didn't say anything. He didn't want to tell Light that he agreed with him, but instead he just held him closely. After a short moment, he shook his head. "The only part of you that's a monster is Kira. Light Yagami isn't a monster." He gently kissed Light's head.

Pulling himself from L's grasp, Light said, "I know I've said it before, but I'm sorry for…I'm sorry that I did that to you." He looked away, ashamed. "That'll never happen again. I promise. Unless you're willing," he added quietly, a slight flush coloring his cheeks.

Nodding, L smiled at Light, gently stroking his hair. He leaned forward and kissed Light softly. "Calm down." He said quietly, "It's alright." He stood and looked down at Light with a smile. He offered his hand.

"Have you given thought to the book?"

Taking the L's hand and standing up, Light admitted, "Not really, no. But…I don't want to be locked up in this room. I understand your precautions, and fully admit to the fact that they're reasonable, but…" He trailed off, feeling embarrassed. "I don't even have the right to ask this, but I'd like to stay with you. With the handcuffs back on, of course."

Nodding, L helped Light up. "That was the plan." He said softly, "Watari suggested it." He kept a hold of Light's hand and pulled him closer to himself. He looked at him before pressing his lips softly against Light's. "I hope you'll consider getting rid of the note book. I don't want to be alone again."

Light's heart was breaking as he kissed L back. He wanted L, wanted to be with him more than ever. But what was he without the Death Note? And why did he even want it so badly in the first place? It was like some inner compulsion he couldn't control.

Light moved his hands up under L's white shirt, wanting to feel every inch of the man's body. But then he stopped himself and stood back. "I-I shouldn't be doing this. We shouldn't…"

L looked at Light, not making any moves to move away or to move closer. "It's okay." He said softly. "Just think about it." He knew it was a kind of bribe. That it seemed like he was bribing Light with his body, his love. For the Death Note.

He kept a hold of Light's hand, gently guiding him. He took him up to Watari's room. From there, he retrieved a chain and shackles. He attached them to each other.

He then turned to Watari. "Do you still have that cake...?"

Watari smiled and gave L the plate he'd set aside earlier. He turned to Light. "Would you like some as well, Light? Or perhaps something else?"

Taken aback, Light stuttered slightly. "Uh, n-no thanks." Why was Watari treating him so kindly? L must have told the old man that he was Kira. Looking at the one chained to him, Light sighed. L and Watari were on the same wavelength. They shared each other's beliefs and views. And, Light realized, whatever L felt, Watari would most likely feel the same way. He felt suddenly stupid for being surprised at the old man's kindness. Of course Watari would treat Light as L did.

Feeling bolder, Light stepped out on a limb. "Would it be alright if I had some eggs?" He _was _quite hungry.

Smiling again, Watari replied, "Of course. Have a seat, both of you."

For the next hour, the three of them sat together in the dining area of Watari's room, which, Light noticed, was more like a small apartment than a room. They ate and chat, Kira or the Death Note not even mentioned, and Light's anxieties began to dissipate as he spoke more openly with Watari. Then L suddenly spoke.

"It is my firm belief that the Death Note is evil, not the user." He said, suddenly bringing up the topic they'd all been dancing around. "As such, the note controls its victims, causing them to have the urge to kill. Some, who are strong of will, will be able to control who they kill, make some sort of reasoning that makes them feel that what they're doing is right." As he spoke, he drank some tea, his knees up by his chest. His eyes were on the table, not on Light, but he was fully aware of what he was doing. He wondered what his reaction to this would be.

Watari merely nodded, acknowledging L's words. But Light, sitting next to the detective, glanced at him with wide eyes. The mention of the Death Note brought reality back into focus for Light, and his heart sank as he remembered the tense situation he was currently in. He would soon have to choose between the notebook and the one he loved. Light shifted in his chair, unsure of how to react to L's statement. After a moment, he guessed he'd better go along with it.

"That makes sense," he agreed. "Those who suddenly gain a great power are often consumed by it." However, Light felt, that was _not _the case with him.

"Yes. And I think that the note book would also prevent the user from wanting to give it up or destroy it. It seems that the book is sentient, with instincts of self preservation." L continued, trying to get Light to see things his way. "If the user is asked to give the book up, then the person who is asked is likely to be resented by the holder, and most likely wanted killed."

Suddenly, Watari stood. "I'll get some more cake," he said to no one in particular, and he withdrew from the dining room.

Light turned to L, his voice pleading him to understand. "I don't resent you. And I mostly certainly don't want you dead. Not now." He grazed his hand over the others, moving a bit closer in his chair.

"But the rest is the truth." L said quietly, seeming to give up hope. "I know what your decision is going to be." He said quietly. "And if that's the case, if you're going to take the note. I know what needs to be done." He said gravely.

"I need you to promise me, that you'll do what I'm about to ask, if you are to keep the note book. Promise me."

Light stared at the detective in disbelief. What could he possibly ask him to do? "I-I don't know, L." He shook his head. "Are you going to ask me to give up my life?" He asked, attempting to make an ironic joke.

"No." L said, "There's something else I want you to do. You will be in no danger by doing it." He said to the other, looking him directly in the eyes. "Please, promise me you will do what I ask." He didn't say what it was, knowing that to say it, would to be denied.

It seemed there would be no persuading L to tell him without making a promise first. Light sighed softy. "Fine, I promise."

Nodding, L stepped a little closer, kissing Light softly before pulling back. "If you're going to keep the note book, I want you to kill me." He said quietly, completely serious.

"What? You can't be serious, L." There was no way Light would do that anyway. If he had a choice between L's life and the Death Note, of course he'd choose L. Wouldn't he?

"I refuse to live in a world with a Kira that I cannot sentence. I refuse to live in a world where you would keep a book that is pure evil that causes you to wish to _kill_ people." L said in a deadly serious voice. "I will not live in a world where the person I love – where on some level, the person I love wants me dead."

"Don't say that," whispered Light. He pressed his lips against the others and put a hand on his back to pull L toward him, feeling more desperate for him than ever.

L pulled himself away from Light, remaining in his arms, but keeping his lips away. He glared slightly at him, his hands pressed flat on his chest. "That is the choice you have to make." He said sternly. "You can either get rid of the book, or kill me."

"I will not kill you," Light said sternly, his voice low. "And as for the notebook…," he paused, thinking, and then shook his head. "L, I think we need to get away from this case for a while. Well, _you _need to. It's putting on strain on our relationship, our lives. The task force can continue working here, and you and I…we'll go somewhere." Light's voice was soft, gentler now. He edged a bit closer to L and kissed him lightly on the lips.

"And there'll be no need to worry about the safety of the others, or being away from work, since _I'm_ Kira," he chuckled slightly, keeping his voice down.

Shaking, and close to crying, L put his head on Light's shoulder. His whole body was shaking. "L-Light... I don't think… I don't think that's a good idea..." He said, almost attempting to pull away, but eventually not bothering. He was so close to just giving up. But he couldn't do that. He couldn't give into Kira. Even if he loved him.

"Why not?" Light murmured into L's hair. "There's no point in staying here, is there? It would be a nice change, I think." He stroked the others back soothingly.

L shivered a little at the contact before sighing softly. "Light. It's not a good idea." He said again. He didn't pull away. He sighed softly. "We shouldn't go."

Light glared slightly, pulling back to look at L. "I still don't see why it's not a good idea. Are you afraid of being alone with me?"

"Yes." L admitted. "For L to be alone with Kira...? You've already raped me once." He mumbled. "Light. You need to make the choice."

His eyes softened and Light replied, "I've told you, L. That's not going to happen again. You know, I have just as much control over whether you live or die, as you do me. Don't forget, the Shinigami are on my side," he lied. He stood up from his chair, pulling L up with him. "We're going to leave now. You will not tell Watari or anyone else where we are going." Light's tone was low and stern, but his hands were gentle on L's arms.

L was shaking now. "N-No..." He pulled away from Light this time, distancing himself from him. "N-No. We're not going to go anywhere. _Especially_ if Watari doesn't know where we are."

Resisting the urge to strike L, Light thought for a moment. Perhaps he could afford to give the detective a little bit of leeway. But it would cost him.

"Alright," he said softly, stepping forward to caress L's cheek. "You can tell Watari. I know the bond the two of you share. But in return, you have to have sex with me again." He smirked slightly, still touching the others cheek. "But it won't be with Kira. It will be Light. And Light is very gentle," he assured the frightened L. "We can start over. Forget what happened before. It'll be like our first time," he whispered.

Shuddering, L nodded, looking more than a little upset. He pulled away and headed in the direction that Watari had gone. He looked behind him, to see if Light was following him before telling Watari what had just happened in a hushed voice.

"I don't want to go Watari..." The terrified detective said to his father figure. He was even too afraid for tears. "Wh-What do I do...?"

Nodding knowingly, Watari pulled a lollipop out of a glass jar on the counter and handed it to L. He knew the treat would calm him down, take his mind off of the fear. "A reliable contact of ours is in the area. I called him several days ago when it became evident that Light must be Kira. He will follow the two of you, and make sure that you come to no harm. I've already informed him to not harm Light, as well." Watari had been listening to L and Light's conversation and was well prepared. What kind of father figure would he be if he hadn't?

Taking the candy, L looked at it before sucking on it and looking at Watari. He nodded, "But there's no guarantee that he won't be hurt by Light..." He said quietly. His shaking had gone down slightly, and thanks to the fact that he was sitting like he normally did, he was calming down.

A sly smile could be seen just underneath Watari's mustache. "I wouldn't be so sure of that. I don't know if you remember him; you were very young. His name is Milo. He teaches at the school, but is very skilled in shadowing as well." He put a hand on L's shoulder. "You will be alright. I will handle the task force."

Nodding a little anxiously, L sighed softly and stood. "I'll... I'll see you later..." he said quietly, still not sure whether he wanted to do this. He then went back into the room where Light was. "I-I don't... I- I'm ready then..." he said dejectedly.

Turning from the window he'd been gazing out of, Light sighed. "Don't look so worried, L. I'm going to take care of you." He took L by the hand and led him back to their room, where he helped the detective pack some things.

"We'll only be gone a few days at the most," Light commented as they stood in the elevator, descending to the main floor.

L had cut his emotions off from his body, following Light like a doll, a puppet following his master's orders. "Alright." He said, his voice a monotone. He didn't want to do this.

So why was he?

The doors opened onto the main floor, and Light headed for the building's exit. He looked back at L, still following him. He was surprised that the man had followed him so willingly. But then again… _No, _he thought, _this isn't willing at all. He's given up, hasn't he? _Feeling a pang of sadness, Light frowned. He felt sorry for L. He had to make everything better. _Going away is the right thing to do, _he told himself.

"Hey, Light! Ryuuzaki!" Matsuda waved at them from across the room at the monitors. "Tell Misa-Misa I miss her, OK?" The rest of the task force groaned.

"Come on, Matsuda. Give the Misa-Misa crap a break, will you?" Aizawa grumbled. "We've got work to do."

Light waved and gave everyone a perfectly fake smile. He continued out the exit with L in tow, a red gleam now in his eyes. _Just as planned. It appears that Watari has already given the task force our alibi. It sure does pay, being close to L. _

A familiar looking limo was idling outside the building. Light looked over at L as they approached it and touched his hand gently. "It's OK."

L had barely any reaction to the touch. Where his head had been hung, it was now raised to look at Light. His expression was blank, and his emotions were gone. He climbed into the car and looked out the window beside the closed door, his feet firmly planted on the ground. He didn't want to think right then. He just wanted... he just wanted it to be over, one way or another.

"Let me guess," said a wry voice, "a hotel this time, right?"

Light smiled just as cynically. "Actually, yes, Rester."

Rester grumbled slightly and then the car began to move. Light took L's hand and squeezed it gently. "Stop acting like this, L. I'm Light. You love Light, don't you? Please, talk to me."

L looked at Light, an almost pleading glare on his face. "I love Light. I do not love Kira." He said. "Right now, you're only fooling yourself into thinking that you are Light." He knew, that if Light gave up the note book, he'd never do anything like this, take L away from his comfort zone, make him go outside. He'd never force L into doing anything he didn't want to.

"You are not Light. I'm not afraid of Light." He then looked out of the window on the other side of the car to Light, pulling his hand out of his grasp.

Light had nothing to say to this. He was close to giving up, too. He looked at L sadly and then turned away to stare out the opposite window. Was there nothing he could do? _Give up the notebook. _Yes, that was one thing. The _only _thing, it seemed. He sighed softly. Why did he have to love him?


	15. Chapter 15

When they arrived at the hotel, Ryuk appeared. "Hey, Ryuk," Light said absentmindedly. L was following quietly behind him as they approached the front desk. Ryuk was laughing for some reason, much louder than usual. Light could barely hear the receptionist tell them where their room was.

"What's wrong with you, Ryuk?" Light asked, when he couldn't ignore the Shinigami's cackling any longer.

L was watching the Shinigami with an odd look on his face. There was a small blade in his pocket, but he was sure that Ryuk didn't know about that. Was he laughing because they were being tailed? Had that even started yet?

"What exactly do you want us to do here?" L asked Light, glaring slightly.

Light turned away from Ryuk with an annoyed look on his face. "I've told you. We're getting away from the case for a while. And," he pulled out the key card and unlocked their room, "I have to make you love me again," he said quietly as he opened the door.

Once inside, they were greeted by the dazzling colors of a large assortment of cakes and pies, candies and chocolate. Every surface of the room seemed to be occupied by trays of sweets. Even Ryuk was impressed by the extravagance of it all, when he momentarily stopped laughing. Light grinned triumphantly. He would have to tip the staff very generously. He looked over at L.

"So, what do you think?"

L's eyes were wide for a moment, a small gasp of surprise forming in his throat, then, his face clouded over, turning back into its emotionless mask. "If you are attempting to buy my love, you can forget about it." He said darkly, ignoring the sweets, passing them and sitting on the bed. "I've _told_ you what you need to do. If you love me at all, then you'll do it. Or you'll kill me."

Glaring, Light went to the bed and grabbed L by his shoulders, shaking him slightly. "Stop this, L! Please! Just for today. I'm not going to kill you. I love you!"

"Light." L said quietly, "I'm not playing a game right now," He said, "I'm not going to play your games anymore. It's over. For as long as you remain Kira, for as long as you retain ownership of the note book, I cannot be with you. I cannot allow myself to love you." He said darkly. "So don't try to turn my mind."

Releasing L, Light stepped back slowly. His eyes were gleaming red as he gazed down coldly at the other. "Fuck you, L."

Ryuk busted out laughing again, although it was not clear as to what he was laughing at. Out of the corner of his eye, Light noticed the curtains of the window swaying slightly. There was no wind. He turned back to L, his gaze almost murderous now. "Are you having someone follow us?" He bellowed.

"No. I'm not." L said. It was the truth. _He_ wasn't having someone follow them, _Watari_ was. "Light. I don't want to be here. Now let's get this over with so we can leave." He said, laying down and spreading himself out on the bed. He knew that Light had wanted to sleep with him, to have sex with him again. If that's what it took, L would let him do it, let him get it over with.

Light narrowed his eyes. He didn't believe L one bit. But at the sight of him spread out on the bed, practically offering himself to Light, it was almost more than his hormones could bear. He put his suspicions in the back of his mind, and joined L on the bed.

Light's anger was cooling now as he gazed down L's taut body, feeling himself hardening. He reached for a slice of cake on the bedside table and dug a fork into it, holding it out to L. "Will you eat it for me?"

Sighing, L took the cake into his mouth and chewed before swallowing. He looked at Light then, "Get on with it." He said sadly.

Light set the cake down and shook his head. "I'm not going to force you. This is _your_ night." He looked up at L, his eyes glazed over with lust. "Tell me what you want _me_ to do. Show me what you like." His hand brushed over L's abdomen, pulling gently at the waistband of his jeans.

Sucking in a breath as Light's hand touched his stomach, he glared at Light. "If this was _my_ night, you wouldn't have forced me to come here." He said steadily. "If this was my night, you would have given me a night of peace before my death."

"You're not going to die," Light pleaded. "I'm not going to let that happen." He pulled his hand back and sat back on the bed, his arms folded across his chest. "We can sit here all day and night, if you want. That's fine with me. But I know you have needs, just as I do. You can't deny your hormones forever."

"I can for as long as the memory of last time lasts. My first time. My last time." L shook his head. "No thank you. If my hormones become too bad, then I'll take care of it myself." He said. His voice was still monotonic, like he didn't want to deal with emotions right then.

He shook his head. "I don't want to be here. I don't want to be alone with you, and I sure as hell don't want to be around _that_."He pointed to Ryuk. "You _know_ what I want."

Light turned his head and glared at Ryuk.

"Fine, fine! I don't want to see whatever it is you're gonna do anyway." He looked towards the window, and then floated away, cackling loudly.

"There, he's gone," Light said, turning back to the other. "Now come on, I want to make up for what I did. It was horrible, I know. And you have every right to hate me for it. But why don't we replace that memory with a good one?" He reached down to L's pants again, this time squeezing gently at the bulge forming there. "I know you want me, L." Light's tone was low, provocative.

Gasping in a breath, L forced back a moan. His eyes slid closed, but he opened them again and looked at Light with a half glare. Yes. He wanted him to continue, but he didn't want him to take him again.

"Get off me." He growled. "If you're going to force me, then get it over with, but if you're not, then get the fuck off me."

"I told you I'm not going to force you." Light hurriedly got up from the bed. "Whatever, do what you want. I'm going to take a shower." He tried to sound bitter, but his hormones and the fact that L didn't want him were bringing him close to tears.

Once inside the bathroom, he closed the door and sank to his knees, his body shaking with rage and sadness. He didn't know which feeling was more dominant.

L allowed himself to calm down when Light was gone. Tears were leaking out of his own eyes. He was panting harshly, trying to get his breathing controlled.

Sobbing a little, he turned over, his hands on top of his head, pushing it down onto the pillow below. Why couldn't Light see what he felt about the note book? Why couldn't Light just give the book up? Was his theory correct? That it in itself was evil?

Standing, L took out his cell phone and called Watari, giving him instructions over the phone, quietly so that Light couldn't hear him through the door.

After a few miserable minutes on the floor of the bathroom, Light decided to actually take a shower. As he let the hot water splash onto his face, his mind felt numb. This had to end, one way or another. And it was not going to end well, that much he knew. There would be pain, broken hearts, and all because of him. Because of that book. If only he could convince L to see things his way….

Light smashed his fists against the wall. No, he was not angry with L. How could he be? L was only doing what he thought was right. No, Light was angry with himself. He allowed himself to fall in love with his enemy. And he couldn't even have L, because of what he was. He had compromised his entire purpose since he received the Death Note.

Since_ I received the Death Note…_ That's right, Light had a purpose _before _he found the notebook, didn't he? He was an honor student, top of the class, studying his way into the best college in the region. What was wrong with going back to that?

_No, L is right about the notebook. It has a sense of self preservation. It makes me not _want _to give it up. The only way I could forfeit ownership…is if I was forced. _Light leaned back against the wall of the shower. _Oh, L… _He wanted him so badly. _What the hell am I supposed to do? Maybe I should let whatever happens, happen. _He wondered how long it would take L to call Watari or make contact with the person following them. _If I stay in here long enough, someone will come for him._

Without thinking, Light reached for the cold water dial of the shower and turned it all the way up, and then turned the dial for the hot water all the way down. There was no excuse for what he had done to L. So what if the Death Note made him want to kill people? It was still Light's hand taking the pen; it was still Light who had raped L. The notebook had nothing to do with it. _I have to pay for what I've done, _Light thought, wrapping his arms around himself as his body began to shiver from the cold.

L finished his orders, talking to Watari had calmed him down somewhat, and he found himself eating the cake, not even realizing that he was doing it. It was just as if he'd worked on autopilot, feeing the food and just eating it. Still, it was sweet; it let him think of his plan.

He knew that it would work, but the question was whether it would work in his favor or not.

"Are you trying to kill yourself, Light Yagami?"

The voice had brought Light out of his stupor. Slumped on the floor of the shower, he looked up to where it had come from. His head felt heavy and for some reason, he felt very sleepy. Still, he had enough of a conscious mind to comprehend the slumped form of the Shinigami in front of him. He blinked once. "W-wh-what do y-you want?" He couldn't help his teeth from chattering, his whole body shaking.

"I was in the Shinigami realm for a while," Rem began, "watching over Misa from there, and then I saw you, your life-span changing. I cannot explain why, but I felt compelled to come back to the human world. I do not understand why you are doing this."

Cold water stung his eyes as Light looked up at Rem, not even understanding a word she had said. "I have t-to punish m-m-myself," he said absentmindedly, his voice cracked and hoarse. He turned away from her, his breath coming out in little clouds in front of him.

After a while, L became a little concerned for Light. He did love him, even if he wasn't... himself right then. He stepped forward and knocked on the door of the bathroom. The wood was too thick for him to hear Light's weak words, but he could tell that something was going on.

"Light, you've been in there for twenty minutes... Are you alright?"

Why did he care? Why was he worried about him? Yes, he loved him, but... he'd hurt him... L had been hurt by Light... but he was still worried for his welfare...why...?

Sometimes, L didn't understand himself.

Light had thought he'd heard a voice, but it was very faint and muffled, as if someone was speaking to him through a pillow. He looked around him, his eyes rolling, feeling dizzy. He found he couldn't feel the cold quite so much anymore. No, in fact, he felt quite warm. _Damn it, _he thought, _it didn't work…_

"I guess K-Kira can't be k-killed," he said quietly aloud to himself.

His eyelids were becoming very heavy, as if made of led. He didn't have the strength to keep them open any longer. He was vaguely aware of an odd shaped figure floating above him before he curled up on the shower floor and lost consciousness.


End file.
